The Path She Chose
by Redefining Fantsy
Summary: What would happen if after the Cullens left Bella went through the change and Jake found her. What if she decided to help out the pack and hated vampires. What if the Cullens were balsy enough to return. Bella would be mad wouldn't she? : B/J A/E
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This story starts with Bella alone. It will be a Jasper Bella story, but you need to know how the 154 years alone affected Bella first so bear with me please. This story has been in the woodwork for months, and it's slowed down many a story update. I just couldn't get it out of my head. :) I hope this story can prove interesting for you. All I can say is this story's stand by is twists and turns so buckle up and enjoy the ride, because in this story Bella chose a path unlike any other. **

Jake and Bella are friends. They stilled formed a friendship despite the fact she's keeping secrets from him. He's keeping secrets of his own. This story picks up a day Edward left Bella.

….

Chapter 1: The Path Revealed

Maybe my heart beat was so low she couldn't hear it. I was lucky. Now I just had to keep silent. If I was quiet maybe she wouldn't realize her mistake, and I would get to live. Even though the burning was terrible I wanted to live, didn't I? My god this hurt! It felt like I had been thrown into a massive bonfire. I stretched out on the closet floor, but other then that I stayed still. I knew that no one would look for me here. What was I going to do? When this was over I had no where to go. Did I really want to make it through this? The emotional pain was so much worse then this. I ran through my memories over and over again just trying to make it through this, but it was so hard especially when I reached memories of the past year…

Some time must have passed. How much I'm not sure, but I heard a pair of footsteps run up the stairs. The door to the room I was in was flung open. Whoever it was I could hear their heartbeat. They smelled funny…

"Bella," he yelled to the room at large. Wait, not he: The name broke its way to the front of my mind. It was Jake! Jake had found me!

I gathered my strength and replied, "In here!" As loud as I could manage: I wanted to be found. The door to the closet was flung open. I felt someone kneel beside me.

"Bella," Jake whispered brokenly. He needed to get away! He was human. I didn't want to hurt him!

"Jake… get away… not safe." I forced out. I wanted to scream so badly but I knew it would hurt him if I did.

"Bella, I'm not going anywhere. What did the bloodsuckers do to you?" He questioned furiously. I gasped. He knew? When had he started believing his tribe's legends? "That's right Bella. I know the Cullens secret."

"Leave… I'm changing. GO!"

"They bit you?" He nearly yelled "Oh my god Bella, but that means…" He trailed of as he realized what was going on.

"Not safe… go!"

"Bella, I'm fine. You're the one that's in danger. Shit!" Jake yelled jumping to his feet. He lifted me up and carried me outside. He set me on the steps. It was taking way to much energy to stay this focused so I allowed the pain to pull me under just a little bit.

JakePOV (before)

"Hello?" I answered the phone. What was Charlie calling for?

"Is Bella there?" He questioned. Now I was worried.

"No, is there something wrong."

"I can't find her anywhere. I've called all of her friends but we can't find a trace of her! I haven't seen her since yesterday morning!" Charlie really was freaking out.

"I'll go see if anyone down on the rez has seen her."

"Thanks" I hung up on him and I was shaking. If that leach hurt her I am going to kill him. I ran out of my house and shifted mid-stride. I took off towards the Cullens. Screw the treaty! I thought as I went. When I got closer I could smell Bella. She had been here. I didn't find a scent trail from her leaving the place, and I could here a heart beat from inside. I shifted back and quickly yanked on some pants before running inside. I rushed up to a bedroom and slammed the door open. "Bella," I called out. I needed her to reply. I needed her to be safe.

"In here!" I heard her quiet reply. I flung the closet was flung open. When I saw her I fell to my knees horrified. What had they done to her? She looked horrible.

"Bella," I whispered brokenly.

"Jake… get away… not safe." What was she talking about? I wasn't going anywhere!

"Bella, I'm not going anywhere. What did the bloodsuckers do to you?" I questioned furiously. She gasped. Oh right. We hadn't had the 'I'm a werewolf' talk yet… "That's right Bella. I know the Cullens secret."

"Leave… I'm changing. GO!" What!

"They bit you?" I had to fight to keep from shifting. I was beyond furious. "Oh my god Bella, but that means…" I trailed of as I realized what was going on.

"Not safe… go!" I was NOT going to leave her. She was still Bella to me.

"Bella, I'm fine. You're the one that's in danger. Shit!" I yelled jumping to my feet. The pack was running here. I could hear them in the woods. I carried Bella outside before setting her on the steps. I shifted and stood in front of her. I wouldn't let them hurt her. I would _make_ them understand.

_Jake what are you doing? What happened? Is Bella all right? _Sam questioned.

_Sam, someone bit her. They destroyed her. It looks like someone beat the shit out of her first too. _I informed him hoping he would realize that she needed our help.

_So she's becoming a vampire. Jake we need to destroy her._

_She trusts me. I am not going to kill her. A vampire just hurt her. Are we really going to make her think there's no good in the world? If we helped her to the path of an animal diet she wouldn't hurt us. I don't think she has it in her to hurt people. _I reasoned_._

_Fine: I do feel terrible about this. We'll give her time. We can't let Charlie see her ever. He's going to have to think she's dead. I nodded. _

_It's gonna kill Charlie, but I know you're right. I'll run her back to the rez. I'll be there in ten. _The wolves ran off and left me to get Bella. I shifted back and pulled my pants on before I picked Bella up. "Bella, it's gonna be all right. The pack wants to help you. We aren't going to let anyone hurt you."

"Thank you… Jake." She whispered. It sent a jolt of pain through my body. She had to be suffering. Vampire venom wasn't a pleasant thing. I ran as fast as I could through the forest surrounding Forks. I needed to get her to the rez fast. I hoped the guys weren't too mad at me. Maybe Emily could help with her while she was still changing. She needed medical attention. I turned slightly and set a course for Emily's house.

"What happened?" She called horrified as I approached. Bella and Emily had become friends in the past month. It hurt her to see Bella like this.

"Some blood sucker hurt her. She's changing. Is there anything you can do for her?" Emily's eyes went wide as she heard that.

"Let's set her on the couch in the living room. I'm going to need a cold, wet cloth to try and help with the burning." I nodded and did as I was told. Emily worked over Bella for hours. She cleaned the wounds out changed the cloth on her head ever twenty minutes. At one point she made me leave so that she could change Bella's clothes.

My brothers were watching her transformation with shock, horror, and pity on their faces. None of them would be able to destroy her. They knew her too well. She had been too kind towards us. When her heart picked up into the final sprint of the transformation we brought her outside so there was room for her to move, and we stepped away from her so she wouldn't feel threatened. I didn't want to hurt her: none of us did. We braced ourselves for the worst as we heard her heart stop.

BPOV:

My heart stopped and the pain ended. I didn't breath. I remembered who had been around me. I could feel presences. I didn't like being this vulnerable. I opened my eyes and stood quickly. I crouched slightly as a low warning growl came from me. Jake held his hands up. "We don't want to hurt you Bella." I jerked to a standing position. This was Jake. He wouldn't hurt me. None of them would. I knew them all.

"What are you?" I questioned. My voice scared me. It was so clear and bell-like now.

"We're werewolves Bella." I gaped at him. That would explain the dog smell. I took a breath. Yup, definitely wet dog smell. They didn't smell appetizing at all.

"I'm not going to hurt you, but are you going to hurt me?" I asked trying to stop myself from attacking when I wasn't sure they would hurt me. It was difficult but not unmanageable.

"No Bella. We don't want to hurt you. Charlie thinks you're dead. You can't see him anymore." I nodded in acceptance. It was for the best. If I killed Charlie I wouldn't be able to live with myself. "Do you need to hunt? We can take you to an empty part of the forest." I nodded again. My throat was killing me. They all shifted into giant wolves. After I got over my shock I followed them to a spot they assumed safe. I followed the smell of a mountain lion to where it was stalking an elk. I took it down quickly. When I was done with it I drained an elk as well. I looked down at myself and smiled. I hadn't gotten a single drop on myself. I didn't go over to Jake. I didn't know how much he would hate me now.

"How do you feel Bella?" Embry questioned.

"I feel better. I'm not thirsty anymore. What do you want me to do now?"

"We want you to tell us your story." Sam informed me shifting back. Pain flashed through my eyes and I wrapped my arm across my chest. Those memories hurt. They hurt horribly. I was alone, all alone. I wasn't wanted anymore. I sank to the forest floor. Next thing I knew Jake wrapped his arms around me. I leaned into him. I knew he wouldn't hurt me. I trusted all of them. There was no danger here.

"What did they do to you Bella?" So I told them. They were growling loudly by my story's end.

"We should go after them!" Paul snarled shaking violently. He needed to be careful or he would loose it.

"You wouldn't be able to find them. Vampires can disappear when they want to." They hung their heads sadly.

"I'm sorry for what you've gone through Bella. I have an offer for you. Would you like to stay here with us? We could always use help with patrols." Sam offered. I gasped.

"You would really let me stay here with all of you? You aren't going to send me away?" I questioned excitedly. He nodded. I cautioned him with my eyes before I wrapped him in a giant hug. "Thank you Sam." He nodded, and so my fate was sealed.

A week later I was running a patrol with Jake, Quil, and Embry. It was so fun. They were faster then me, but that didn't matter. They slowed down a little bit so that I could keep pace. I was really good at reading what each whine, snarl, and bark meant. We had developed a way so that I could stay in the loop. It was just a routine thing, no big deal, but all of a sudden I smelled something off. It was sweet, like me. It was a vampire. "Leech up ahead!" I called to them. They nodded and slowed even further. We tried to sneak up on it, but the leech grabbed me. I threw her to the ground quickly, growling. I put my foot over her throat. "What are you doing on Quileute land, bitch?" I questioned. She looked at me with wide eyes.

"Why are you helping them? You're a vampire too."

"A fact I hate." I snarled at her. She pushed my foot off.

"If you want to help the dogs then you will die like one!" She lunged at me quickly. I wasn't going to let her win. I dodged and grabbed her hair to throw her to the ground. A crater formed where she had fallen. As I was fighting her I heard Jake barking at me. He wanted me to fall back.

"Jake, let me take this one down." He whined in understanding. I returned all of my attention to this bitch. She left a giant opening. I easily ripped her head off. I finished dismembering her before I set the pile on fire.

I turned and they all nodded to me in approval. I was smiling at my success. I had taken out my first vampire. We ran back towards Emily's house. They shifted and pulled on shorts as we ran. I didn't need to see that, so I kept my attention focused forwards and no where else. When we reached the house we walked in slowly. The boys sat down to eat. I rolled my eyes. They had holes in their legs. They never stopped eating. "Hi Emily," I called to her.

"Hello Bella. How was the run?" She questioned. Emily had barely batted an eye at the fact I was a vampire now, and for that I was grateful. I hadn't wanted to loose her as a friend.

"It was great." Jake shook his head. "You should have seen her. She took down a female leech on her own." He looked up at me when he realized what he had said.

"Yeah, the blood sucker had it coming. She shouldn't have been on Quileute land." Their mouths were hanging open. "You all know that I have no love for my own kind. Not anymore at least." They nodded in understanding.

"You took one down on your own?" Sam inquired as he entered the kitchen followed by everyone else.

"Yeah, now I know what you guys were talking about. That was fun." They laughed at me rolling their eyes.

"Leave it to Bella to find violence as her new adrenaline rush." I shrugged it off.


	2. Chapter 2 Acceptance

Chapter 2: Acceptance

"Bella, are you up for doing a solo run through our territory? I'm taking Paul, Seth, Brady, and Jared through the Cullens old claim. Pain flashed across my face at the mention of their name.

"Sure, why not." I forced out through clenched teeth. God, it hurt so much to think of them. Why had they done this? Why? Jake wrapped me in a hug. "Thanks Jake."

"Anytime Bella," I waited for them to finish before I headed out to run my patrol. It wouldn't be too hard. No one was out here anyway. I was making my second loop when I heard something behind me. I turned quickly to see it was yet another vampire. What was with them today? This wasn't their land!

"Leave!" I hissed at her. Three other vampires stepped forwards. I took a step back. They were mature vampires. I wasn't sure if I could take on all four of them at once. "What do you want?" I growled at them. I couldn't just let them stay here. I had to at least try to win. I got ready to lung at them.

"Let's not be to hasty young one. You wouldn't want us to kill it, would you?" She teased me. What was she talking about? She pulled Claire from behind her back. She had been crying.

"What did you do to her?" I hissed at them furious. It was tabooed to hurt someone's imprint. The wolf would never recover!

"We just tossed her around a bit. She'll be fine." I growled at them.

"Let her go!" They handed her over. I placed her safely behind me. "Claire, I need you to run. Run to the hiding place." She took off through the trees as fast as she could. I hoped I could at least hold them off long enough for her to make it there. They attacked while my back was turned. I quickly squirmed out of the leeches grasp and shoved her into a tree I ripped one of her arms off and tried to use it to keep them at bay. They grabbed a hold off it and used it to yank me close. I kicked the male in the head. He went reeling backwards. The three females lunged at me at once. I dodged them as best I could but one of them found purchase in my arm and yanked. I pulled away hissing furiously. That hurt like a bitch! That was my arm! I lost all control then, and I just attacked. They had ripped my arm off! One of them bit me, but I didn't care. It was nothing close to the pain of my missing limb. The male grabbed me from behind, so I cheated… I did a crotch shot. He went down cursing. I smirked and ripped off his head. I turned quickly to see the females were pissed.

"You killed our maker!"

"Your maker was a no good parasite that deserved everything he got." I taunted them. If they attacked with anger they would be sloppy, easy to take out. They did exactly what I expected. They lunged at me at once. I dodged under them and grabbed one of them. I ripped her head off. Another female tried to save her 'sister' so I ripped off her head as well. The remaining female was scared now. She started to back away.

"Oh, don't leave. Don't you want to avenge your coven? You could still do it. Just try. You could always run later." I prodded her and just like a sleeping bear she delivered. She snarled angrily and made one final attempt to kill me. I grabbed her and held her still. "Oops, I guess you loose." I hissed at her before I ripped her head off. I ripped the rest of their limbs off and quickly built the fire. The last thing I needed was for them to reassemble themselves. I grabbed my arm. I didn't have time to reattach it now. I had to go find Claire. There were too many vampires around for me to leave her there any longer then necessary. She had made it to the hiding place. I was proud of her. This was the one place where for some reason smells got mixed up and trails became misplaced.

"Claire, come out. It's me, Bella." She crawled out of the cave that was hidden under the tree. She was still crying. "It's over Claire. They're gone." She ran to me and cried into my shoulder. "It's going to be all right." I reassured her. I couldn't comfort her much out here I was too on edge. That meant I'd killed five vampires in one day. This was a bad day to be in the forest. I ran as fast as I could back to Emily's house. I ran straight inside and locked the door.

"Bella, what's going on? Why's Claire here? Where… where is your arm?" She gasped.

"I was attacked on my patrol by four vampires. They had Claire with them." Emily gasped. "They said something about hurting her." I warned her. Emily tried to pry Claire off of me, but she wouldn't move.

"You beat them all?" I nodded.

"It took some time and I lost an arm, but they are dead." She nodded in approval. "Where's Quill now? He should know."

"He's in the guest room pacing. I should have listened to him. He said something was wrong: that something wasn't right."

"How could you have known four leeches kidnapped your niece? It's not your fault." I assured her. I walked through the kitchen to the guest room. Quill immediately stood up.

"What happened?" he questioned frantically.

"I was running patrol and I found a coven of four. They had her." Hatred and fear filled his eyes. "They're dead now and she's safe. She just won't let go of me." I explained.

"Quill, de were mean to me." She whimpered. My heart broke for her. This kid was so little.

"What did they do Claire?" Quill prodded.

"Dey hit me and cawled me mean names!" She wailed. She let Quil pick her up.

"They can't hurt you anymore. Bella took care of it." He assured her. I left the room so he could comfort her. Emily looked to where my arm should have been.

"Are you okay?" She questioned. No, I feel like I'm a human that's been hit by a truck.

"I'll be fine. I can reattach it after I run the rest of my patrol." I shrugged it of. Shit! That was a mistake. My right shoulder throbbed horribly. She didn't seem reassured. I didn't have time for this. I had to make sure that everyone else was safe. I left my arm under the house so that no one would mess with it and took off. I ran the patrol as fast as I could. I didn't leave any holes. I wanted to make sure there weren't any other vampires lurking. I did the entire circuit five times before I was satisfied that it was safe. I returned to Emily's house wiped. I hadn't known it was possible for me to feel this tired given what I was. I retrieved my arm before entering the house.

"Bella, why are you holding your arm?"

"I'm lucky it's not my head." I muttered.

"Emily and Quil didn't tell you yet?" That was strange.

"What happened?" Seth questioned.

"I ran into a coven of four on patrol."

"What!" They exclaimed shocked. I nodded.

"What happened?" Sam questioned.

"They had Claire with them. I had her run to the hiding place while I fought them. I won; they're all dead." I said. I was so wiped. I could barely stand.

"Bella, are you okay?" Emily questioned.

"My head hurts. I didn't know that was possible." I tried to shake my head to clear it.

"Bella, sit down. You've done so much for us today. Thank you."

"It's no big deal Sam. It was my patrol." I shrugged.

"Which I made you run alone: That was stupid." He was yelling at himself, and I wouldn't have it.

"How were you supposed to know that there were going to be five vampires lurking on your land on the same day? It was completely random." I reminded him. He shrugged. I sat down and got to work on my arm. I shoved it back together with my shoulder and used venom to reattach it hissing.

"What's wrong?" Seth questioned.

"It hurts like hell. Vampire venom hurts everyone." When I was done I moved my arm around wincing. It would be fine in a day or so.

"Tonight's the Story Telling." The guys all perked up as Sam spoke.

"I can run patrols for you guys if you want." I offered. I was sure they wouldn't want me thee. I was intruding enough as it was.

"No, you should be there. It'll be fun." Sam insisted.

"I'd like that." I said smiling. "I'll be back in a bit. If I want my arm to heal right I have to hunt." My face mirrored my disgust. They laughed at me.

"You're more repulsed by it then we are." Paul pointed out. I rolled my eyes.

"Bye guys." I threw myself out of the house into the woods. I took off in a fast sprint. I was going to have to return to Cullen land to hunt. I wasn't going to risk being near Quileute land. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I stayed far from their house and dodged far off to the west. There was an over population of mountain lions in the area at the moment. I took down two mountain lions quickly. I didn't play with my food. I didn't like making them suffer. It was bad enough I had to kill them. I looked down at my clothes and smiled. I was still clean. I had improved dramatically from my first hunt. I didn't even need to change my clothes.

I ran back across the border to where I felt safe, Quileute land. I decided to visit Jake's house. We had already discovered that I wasn't a danger to humans. My mind and body repelled against any action that would harm a human. "Hi Billy," I called to the house.

"Hello Bella. I heard you've had one hell of a day, five vampires was it?" I nodded.

"Be careful Billy. They'd managed to somehow get Claire without anyone noticing." He nodded his face grave.

"Everyone is watching their children much more closely after that little incident."

"Good. All of the children have been shown where the hiding place is right? If I hadn't won the fight Claire's ability to locate it would have saved her life."

"No, but we can do that now. Would you mind taking the children out to the spot?" I gaped at him.

"Billy, no one in this community trusts me. They feel that at the first chance I get I'll try to kill everyone. They want me dead. There is no way they will let me anywhere near their children." I argued. Billy shook his head smiling.

"They changed their minds after they heard about how you single handedly saved Claire from a coven of four. They realize that it was practically a suicide mission, but you did it to save Claire. They trust you to protect them and keep their children safe now. They respect you."

"Really," I questioned quietly.

"Yes, they do. I call everyone to bring their children over here now." I nodded and moved on through the house. I wanted to talk to Jake if he was conscious. I found him in his room passed out. Oh well, at least I knew that he was safe. It was still bothering me that five vampires had made it into our territory. They could have been looking for _them,_ but they would have known not to enter Quileute land. I shrugged. I would never know. Next time I would have to question the vampire before I killed it.

I exited Jake's room and returned to the living room. It was weird to be in his room like that. I didn't like him like that. He felt like a brother. I attempted to watch TV as I awaited the arrival of half the tribe. It was shocking just how many children hadn't been shown the hiding place. There were parents even that didn't know. "Bella, it's time to take them out there." Billy called.

I got up from the couch and moved to the front step. Children of all ages stood below me. "We have recently found five vampires inside our territory. One of them had managed to get a hold of Claire." I heard shocked whispers run through the crowd. "Kids, don't walk off with a red eyed vampire, ever. No matter what they promise you. Actually don't trust any vampires unless given a very good reason. I understand that some of you don't trust me. That's smart: it means you're cautious. You need to watch out for anyone that looks out of place here." The teens that weren't shifters were rolling there eyes. "You also need to realize that strangers are a danger to you. You shouldn't tell people the tribe legends." They were still messing around. "Do you have something to add Dakota, Eric?" I questioned looking down at them. Eric bowed his head remorseful. Dakota raised his head high. He was such a fool.

"There is no danger in talking to the pale faces." He smirked. I jumped down from the porch and walked over to him.

"So there's absolutely no danger to telling them something that's forbidden?" He shook his head. I waited until he made eye contact before talking. "Then you're just as stupid as I thought. I learned about vampires that way, and guess what? It broke the treaty. If the Cullens hadn't still been hiding their true colors Sam would have been fighting seven vampires alone." I nearly hissed at him. He didn't back down. "Do you realize how easy it is for a vampire to convince a human to seek out information for them? All it takes is money, which they normally steal. You could put the tribe in jeopardy the way you're acting. So before I show you the hiding place I need to know: are you trying to help your tribe or destroy it?" He broke eye contact and took a step back.

"I'm protecting it. I'll stop talking to the pale faces." He grumbled.

"Thank you." He nodded and stepped back. "Are you all ready to go to the hiding place? It's about two miles from here." They nodded. I led them carefully through the trees and I made sure they realized where they were going. Halfway there I stopped. One of the youngest girls was falling farther and farther behind. "What's your name?" I called back to her.

"Lisa."

"I can carry you Lisa." She nodded relieved. I picked her up before returning to the front. When we made it to the hiding place I let them all explore the entire surrounding area. They needed to know it well. I needed them to be able to find it if they were ever in danger.

"Do you think you can find this place now?" They nodded.

"We all know the forest very well. Now that we know this is here we'll be able to find it." Dakota informed me.

"Good, then let's get back. I bet you're all getting hungry, and it'll be dark in two hours." The little kids enthusiastically turned back towards Jake's house. I laughed and followed them at a slow measured pace. It was far slower then I would have liked but given the present company it was completely understandable. When they were out of the forest I relaxed completely. We hadn't been attacked, and they knew where to hide. I turned back to the forest as a parent approached me.

"Bella," I nodded. I was shocked when the woman embraced me. I hugged back so as not to be rude. "Thank you. Thank you for saving my daughter." She said pulling back.

"You're Claire's mother, aren't you?" She nodded. "It was nothing. It was just lucky that she knew where to hide."

"Thank you Bella. You are the only vampire I will ever trust." I smiled at the compliment as she walked away. Jake was standing in the door to his house smiling He held his arms open for a hug and I granted it.

"I heard you took out four at once today." He questioned.

"Yup," I replied. I didn't want to retell it again.

"I'm proud of you. You managed to make our entire Tribe trust you in a single week." I smiled before I realized his mistake.

"Jake, you messed up. It's not our tribe. It's your tribe. I'll never truly belong here." I reminded him.

"You belong wherever you want to belong." He replied letting me go.

"Bella, would you mind helping me bring the food up to the story telling?" Billy called from the kitchen.

"Just stack everything in a pile. I bring it up now." I called back. I went to the kitchen and found Billy surrounded by food. Man, theses guys could eat. I grabbed the three coolers and left the bread bags for Jake and Billy. I found my way easily up to the fire side. I eyed the fire warily. Fire was one thing I wasn't sure if I could deal with.

"Are you sure you don't need help Bella?" Seth questioned as I came into sight of them.

"I'm a newborn vampire and you think I need help lifting 90 pounds of meat products?" I inquired setting them down easily.

"I guess not." Sam responded chuckling.

"Well have at it. You guys are messier then me." They rolled their eyes. I sat back from the fire and watched them eat. Did I really used to think that this smelly ass shit tasted good? Had I been on something? O_o

They were just kids and it showed as they messed around as they ate. They joked and laughed, and for once they were able to act their age. It was a great thing. It was a rarity. "Hey Bella, I dare you to eat a hot dog." Paul yelled across the fire. It went silent as everyone turned to look at me.

"You've got to be kidding me." I muttered.

"Come on Bella. He dared you." Seth said smiling. I rolled my eyes. "Hand me the damn hot dog." Jake handed it over. I looked at it repulsed. They wanted me to eat this thing? I took a bite chewed once and swallowed. The slimy thing slid down my throat. I finished the rest of the hot dog quickly. It was disgusting. It took all my control not to puke it up then and there. They were staring at me stunned.

"I thought vampires couldn't eat." Jake accused.

"We can eat. We just can't digest it. I'm going to have to puke it up later." I admitted, irritated. They laughed at me.

"Bella, why don't you go take care of that before I start telling the legends." I smiled in appreciation and rushed into the woods. When I was done I walked back to the circle and sat down.

"I am never doing that again." I said glaring at Paul. He smiled; I growled at him.

"No fighting." Sam ordered. I shrugged and turned my attention back to Billy.


	3. Chapter 3 The Forest Awakens

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters… why must you make me say such depressing things! :'(

Chapter 3: The Forest Awakens

He started to tell the legends. I listened completely focused. It was amazing: the story explained how the wolves had started. In the other stories all the vampires were evil. It was nice to know I was an exception to that rule. Then he explained how the wolves had come back so strongly because the Cullens had returned. How many lives had the Cullens ruined? Wasn't mine enough? No, they had to go on ruining the Quileutes' lives. It was a good thing the werewolf quirk had picked up again. The Cullens were very dangerous.

"There is another reason for our meeting tonight. Sam has something he wants to say." Sam stood slowly and moved to stand beside Billy.

"Today while I was running patrol in the le—Cullens' old land Bella was attacked by four vampires. She managed to kill them and save Claire." There were surprised whispers from those that hadn't already heard the story. I looked down. It had been nothing. When would they let it drop? "Bella, will you come up here?" I stood slowly and moved to stand beside him.

"Bella's lost her mortality because of what those leeches did. They hurt her, and now she can't see Charlie. Despite everything she is calm and controlled. She has been helping us since her change has been complete. I feel that Bella is one of us. Bella, I want to make you an official member of the pack." I stiffened slightly, shocked. Was he serious? "Will you accept?" He inquired.

"Yes," I replied still surprised.

"Then welcome sister. Brothers step forward and make our sister feel welcome." I smiled as they came up and gave me a high five or a hug. They were so kind. I hadn't even expected them to want to look at me, and now they were fully accepting me into their folds. I felt weird all of a sudden. I felt warm and tingly. No, I don't mean love. I knew what that felt like. This was different. The heat seemed to be coming from the center of my body. What was it? I shook my head to try to clear it, but it didn't work. The heat was spreading.

"Bella, what is it?" Jake questioned.

"I don't know. Back up for a minute." He did what I asked not a minute too soon. I backed away from the fire. The second everyone was far enough away the heat exploded from the middle of my body and spread throughout. I crashed down on four paws.

What was going on? What had happened? I tried to ask Jake but it came out as a whimper. "Bella," Jake questioned. Since I couldn't talk I nodded my head. I was taller then him right now. Wait, was I a wolf? "Sam, what's going on?"

"I don't know. It seems that when we truly accepted her she became one of us. She is our sister in all regards now." I cocked my head to the side. So that was how this had happened? It was still creepy. What was I supposed to do now? I didn't know how to shift back! I started freaking out. I kneaded the ground worriedly. I whined to recapture their attention. Jake came over and put a hand on my shoulder.

"I know its confusing Bella. You're doing great." I glowed with the praise. He'd explained that he had been wild when he shifted for the first time, crazy. I was in control… sort of. I leaned my head on his shoulder lightly. I didn't want to knock him over.

"Sam, she needs some help." Seth stated. I moved my head from Jake's shoulder and nodded. He was right. What the heck was I supposed to do? I felt a shimmer in the air while Sam shifted into a giant black wolf. It was strange to feel his mind merge with mine. While I could still think on my own I could think with him as well…

"Bella, how are you holding up?" He questioned mentally.

"I'm confused. Nothing like this has ever happened before has it?" I inquired cocking my head to the side.

"No, there's never been a… vampire the tribe has befriended." I rolled my eyes.

"You can say leech. I hate the rest of my kind just as much as you do." I informed him.

"Do you want to shift back?" I thought I could hear a smile in his thoughts.

"Yeah, this is weird." He nodded.

"Think about trying to force all the heat back to the center of your body. Try picturing your human form." He suggested.

"Hey, I am not human! Get your stereotypes right!" I teased him. He rolled his eyes.

"All right, then picture your vampire form.

"Ummm, wait. I need some clothes…" I trialed off. He laughed loudly. He pointed his nose towards Jake. He was walking towards us carrying a pair of clothes. I had been able to hear his movements but I hadn't paid attention. I could hear so much now. Was it just a wolf thing? I wondered. I grabbed the clothes Jake offered in my mouth and ran behind a giant bush to shift.

I pulled my vampire form to the forefront of my mind. It was a strange feeling to shrink in size like that. When I was back to 'normal' I pulled my clothes on quickly before returning to the fire side. Well, my hearing hadn't changed. I could still hear everything. I smiled as I stood by the fire.

"Welcome to the club sis." Seth congratulated. I smiled happily. I did truly belong here now.

"How'd you do that Bella?" Jake questioned. I shrugged.

"Sam's the one that made me part of the pack. Nature was just doing her job and making it official." They all smiled at that. Paul yawned loudly.

"Tired Paul?" He shrugged. "When was the last time you slept?"

"I don't know…"

"Paul, that's bad. Go get some rest. Who else hasn't slept in a few days?" They all looked away sheepishly. I rolled my eyes. "You guys can go get some sleep." Sam opened his mouth to protest. "Including you Sam. It pisses Emily off that you never go home at night. I'll take the shift."

"Are you sure Bella? Some of us could run with you." Sam offered. I didn't want any of them to suffer with me if I ran in my new form. They didn't deserve the pain.

"I'll be fine." I assured him.

"Good night then sister." Sam said walking down the hill with the others. I smiled at the praise.

"Night," I called after them. When I turned back to the fire I was shocked to see that Billy was still there.

"Congrats Bella," I smiled in response. I was doing a lot of that tonight, wasn't I? "It's nice to know you'll be watching while we sleep." He complimented.

"Thanks Billy," I carefully gave him a hug before he left as well. I put the fire out so I wouldn't attract animals… or cops, Charlie. Pain hit me hard and strong like a freight train. It was quickly followed by anger. That was yet another thing _they_ had taken away from me. Because of _them_ I could never see Charlie again. Because of _them_ I was a fucking blood sucker too! I growled in frustration and pain.

I took off through the forest in an attempt to leave my pain behind me. As I ran my body, sensing my need for an escape, allowed me to shift forms midstride. I used my back legs to dig deep into the ground to rush faster through the trees. I thrilled at the feeling of the wind rushing through my fur as my paws dug up the turf beneath. I shook my head to clear it of the pain and hate filled haze it had sunken into. I was supposed to be running patrol, not sulking.

I banked sharply to the right so I was running the treaty line. There was no way in hell I was going into old bloodsucker turf. I arched wide to encompass all of La Push in my patrol. No one was getting through me tonight. There had been enough pain to go around for ten lifetimes.

I flexed my still sore arm. No one else would look into a pair of bright red or gold eyes knowing they probably wouldn't be living much longer. It was enough that Claire had been hurt, and I had been… I shoved that train of thought far away before I could be distracted. Instead I focused on the trail ahead of my paws. I was now used to this body, even the beating heart. It made me seem more alive, more normal.

Having reached my starting point I went straight instead of right the way my scent trail did to include all of the houses in my circuit. I made sure to go deep into the woods so I wouldn't have to worry about any visitors on the rez seeing something they shouldn't. We didn't need hunters out here.

It was a very uneventful night. As the sun came up the forest seemed to come alive with it. The animals didn't shy away from me as much anymore. The other creatures no longer hid as I went by. I smiled to myself a I ran. IT seemed most were accepting me these days. It was nice to feel needed. The hole in my chest flared as if to remind me there were others that didn't want me. I shook my head to clear it as I let out a pained whimper. I picked up my speed once more as I made my 40th circuit.

I froze suddenly as I caught the scent of vampire. You've got to be kidding me! I thought as I took off in the direction of the smell. I stopped dead as I saw they had Emily.

"Don't call the rest of them or she dies." The male with his hand around Emil's throat called over as I opened my mouth to howl. I saw Emily wince in pain as he tightened his grip on her throat. I growled angrily. Why them? Why couldn't they grab me instead? How did they all manage to grab imprints? It couldn't just be luck…

"Shift back Bella." The male ordered. My eyes widened in surprise. "Yes, we know who you are, now do it." I focused on pulling the fading darkness in with me. I reared up on my hind legs so I was standing. I shrunk to my usual size. When I looked down I was pleased to see I had clothes on. So it did work… I shifted my gaze to the threat before me.

"What do you want?"

"We were given very specific orders." The male said smirking as he ran his hand down Emily's side. I growled loudly at him.

"Let her go!" I ordered scared for her.

"We don't want her."

"What do you want then?" I interrogated.

"We'll let her go if you stay here."

"Like I would run off with three bloodsuckers on our turf," I spat back at them. They shoved Emily over to me.

"Bella, don't do this." She begged.

"I'll be fine. Is Sam okay?"  
"They grabbed me when he went to meet with the others."

"I want you to run. Warn Sam for me. Please Emily: I'll be fine." She nodded before taking off through the trees. I turned to see not three but thirteen mature male vampires. I readied myself for the fight. They lunged as one. I kicked, punched, tore, and dodged as fast as I could, but it was hopeless. There were too many of them. I couldn't win. One of them grabbed me and pulled me to the ground.

…

I curled up into a ball on the forest floor crying. If I hadn't been so sad and scared I would've been shocked to discover I could actually cry. I pulled what remained of my dress together to cover myself. Why, why, why? Having my heart torn out of my chest wasn't enough? My self esteem and trust had to be obliterated as well?

Sometime later a twig snapped; I jumped up to face the source. I growled out a warning. The mountain lion took a step back and placed its bundle on the ground.

"Let us help you." As the creature spoke more animals stepped forwards.

"You can talk?"

"We've always been able o talk, but you are just now learning to listen. Can we help you?" I nodded settling down once more. She grabbed her bundle before coming over to me. She worked to rub salve over cuts and bruises I hadn't known it was possible for me to receive. She lapped up the blood before running over the bites. I hissed in pain. "I'm sorry," she said. Her gaze was sympathetic.

"I'm fine," I tried to assure her. She didn't press the matter. A deer came over with a water soaked sponge material and worked to rid my skin of the remaining blood.

"What's your name?" I asked the she-cat.

"Nala," she replied simply.

"Why did you help me? I hunt animals."

"I know, you killed my brother a few days ago."

"I'm so-" she cut me off.

"I don't hold it against you. You have to eat too. We'd just prefer if you could find a different way. We helped you because you help us. You're the protector from our legends." With that Nala and the other animals were gone.

I was in a legend? Could there be nothing normal? I stood wincing and looked around scared. Nothing was there, so I began the long walk out of the trees. Every step was agony. I was sore all over. There was no break or relief, because although the salve worked I was still aching. I followed Emily's scent trail back to her house. The guys ran towards me as I stumbled out of the trees. I crouched and backed away scared. They stopped confused.

"What happened to you Bella?" Jake called as he started towards me once more.

"Don't Jake, just don't touch me." I said wrapping my arms around myself as I looked down.

"What happened?"

"The state of my clothes isn't enough for you to figure it out?" I inquired looking as them. They started shaking as they worked to control their anger.

"Bella," Emily yelled as she ran over to me. "Please tell me they didn't…"

"They did," I forced out in a whisper. Pain wracked my body as I acknowledged that truth for the first time. Emily wrapped me in a hug.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left you there."

"There was nothing you could have done. I would have tried to kill them anyways. It was my patrol. I had to try to protect the tribe. I couldn't run away." I assured her. She hugged me tighter. I hissed in pain; she pulled back confused. "You're pressing on some of the bites."

"They bit you?" Jake questioned outraged. I nodded.

"Let me take a look at your wounds." Emily offered.

"Nala already took care of me."

"Nala," Seth asked.

"She's a mount lion. I can speak to animals." Their jaws dropped. Emily was the first to recover.

"At least let me get you some clothes." I allowed Emily to drag me to her house. I took a long shower before I got dressed. I still didn't feel clean, but I knew that wasn't going to happen for a while. I went out to the living room. I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapped my arms around them, and put my chin on top. I watched as my brothers entered the living room.

"Bella, can I give you a hug?" Jake asked hesitantly.

"I don't know." I replied truthfully. He walked over and slowly, gently wrapped me in a hug. He pulled back and offered a hand. I accepted it. "Thanks Jake."

"Bella, what happened?" Sam questioned so I told him.

…


	4. Chapter 4 Life Unexpected

Chapter 4: Life Unexpected

Everyone was quiet as they worked to control their anger. Sam was the first to speak. "I'm so sorry Bella. I'm never letting you run patrol alone again." He decided solemnly.

"It's not your fault. Like I said, they were waiting for me." They all glared at that. Jake squeezed my hand in support.

"Thank you for saving Emily." Sam continued. "That's two imprints you've saved now." The way he said it made the pieces come together.

"Doesn't it seem strange how they grabbed imprints. Of everyone in La Push they have the best protection. And what are the odds that of three groups of leeches we find running through La Push at the same time? Or the odds that the only two that take hostages grab imprints and seem to know the significance of what they've done?"

"When you say it like that it doesn't sound likely at all." Jake speculated.

"That's because it's practically impossible. I think they're all from the same group, and because of when they attack I think they're after me." I forced out through gritted teeth. Their eyes widened as they realized the truth in my words.

"We won't let them hurt you again." Sam stated firmly. The others nodded in agreement.

…

Looking back on that now, 150 years later. I remember those as our famous last words. Sure we had other conversations and there was a life after that for a time, but those were the words carved into the doors… I shook that from my head snorting and ran with the herd. I was in horse form. I needed a break from everything. I needed time to clear my head before the next story telling was due to occur. The head stallion threw his head and snorted as he walked towards me. Oh, it was Astin. I neighed and walked up beside him. "You have to get back soon." He reminded me.

"Sure, just remind me of the bad stuff."

"You know its part of my job. When you join the herd I have to try to protect you just like the stallions before me have, even if you don't want or need it."

"You make a good friend." I neighed putting my head on his shoulder affectionately.

"You need one of those from what I've heard."

"Do you want to race before I have to leave?"

"You won't win." He said pawing at the ground.

"Try me."

"Ready, set," I reared up on my hind legs in preparation. "Go!" I lunged forwards and dug my hind hooves into the turf as I kept pace with Astin. There interaction with me had made them faster. I drove myself faster as well. I almost couldn't get ahead of him.

"You really are your sire's son." I neighed to him.

"Thanks," he replied.

"But you aren't fast enough." I whinnied back before I took the lead. I pushed myself faster and faster as we raced down the beach. The muscles in my neck strained as I worked to stretch fully. This was the part of this life I loved. The part where I was free, but the second I thought about any of it I was trapped again. I slowed down and turned to him. I pranced back over to where he stood with my tail and head raised high.

"Sure just rub it in." He snorted.

"You shouldn't be faster then me. I'm the leech shifter cross." I reminded him. I flipped my mane to get rid of the flies.

"Whatever Bella, get back to the tribe. You have a job to do."

"Ugh," I neighed rearing up on my hind legs I shifted back to my vampire form. "See you later." I called to him. He reared up in salute before he galloped off to mind his herd once more. I took off in the opposite direction towards the scene of the battle. That was always the first place. I stopped by my hiding spot for a bag of blood on the way there. I downed it quickly and trashed the bag. Thank god this time it was from a game animal. It tasted so much better. I shifted into my wolf form to more quickly reach the sight. I slowed to a walk, and a hush fell over the tribe. I lunged through their mist into the center of the circle. A hush fell over the crowd quickly. I saw the elders nod to me in respect. I shifted, pulling the mist in to make my clothes, before I nodded back.

I took a deep breath before I looked into the tribe I called family. "Many years ago in this very spot the pack's imprints and families were attacked. They killed innocents, those who were unable to defend themselves properly. That tells us what cowards the leeches can be. They hurt our tribe, and I'm sure they expected to get away with it, but as you know when the tribe is hurt the forest answers the call." They nodded solemnly.

"You have rebuilt yourselves from the ashes and thrive. Nothing can stop you from having the life you deserve on your own land. The pale faces may be content to ignore the bloodsuckers in their mists but you aren't. You won't let them near. You are protected." The tribe cheered.

"A vampire of poor intelligence is the reason I am here to tell you this. She changed me accidentally. She meant to kill, but she left too much venom and blood. Because of her mistake you shall always have a protector even though I have no true siblings. You shall always have someone watching over you, and this time I refuse to fail." The tribe roared with approval at my statement, and I smiled at them through the painful memories.

"But let's not dwell on such unpleasant things. Today is a celebration. Today we honor the memories of those in Sam Uley's pack with our festivities. So play music, sing, dance, eat heartily, and remember them. Remember the ones who gave you everything." I allowed a respectful silence to ensue before continuing.

"There is only one last thing we must do. The hiding place has kept many safe from harm. I will ask that you send up your children. Send them so I can show them the hiding place. Send them so they know where they'll always be safe." I said. Smaller children were ushered forwards. There were only five this year. There was a little girl that looked shockingly like a young Emily. I knelt down to her level.

"What's your name?" I questioned.

"Emily, I'm named after my great, great grandmother." She said shyly.

"Well Emily, I knew your great, great grandmother. She was my best friend." She smiled at the small piece of information. "Are you ready to come with us?" I questioned. She nodded smiling and took my hand. I walked with them at a slow measured pace to the hiding place. I let them explore inside and around it. They needed to be able to find it. When they had memorized the landscape we returned to the town. Fires were already lit and food was being cooked. It smelled amazing.

We all sat down to eat together. A hush fell over everyone and all eyes turned to me. "Tonight you remember those who have died to protect you. You celebrate they did not die in vain, and you dance to show everyone you are still here!" The teens banged the tables yelling. I smiled slightly. "You thank the forest for handing over prey so you may stand strong against our enemies." I said careful not to include myself in the statements. We all dug into our food hungrily. No one had been able to eat all day. They had fasted to show our fallen family they were willing to suffer to celebrate their accomplishments.

When the feast had ended a dance floor was cleared. The musicians pulled out their drums and pipes and all other instruments. It wasn't long before the beat was picked up. I joined in the dancing. Halfway through the night I cued the musicians. They slowed to a proper beat, and I shifted into a horse. I pranced in time to the beat and flipped midair. I landed as a tiger and preformed other tricks in time to the music. When I was done I shifted back curtsying. They clapped and applauded my performance before they fell back upon the dance floor laughing as the music picked up once more. I pulled Justin aside. "Tell the elders I went to run a quick patrol if they search for me." He nodded before turning to find the ones I had specified.

I made my way to the tree line before I shifted. I raced through the trees and arched wide to touch the null and void boundary line. Technically I had the right to all Cullen land. Ah, what the hell; I might as well add it tonight. I dove deep into the woods, but the property cut so damn close to the house I saw it regardless. Pain shot through me and a whimper burst free as I pushed myself past this monument to my weakness. I reentered tribe land and finished my circuit quickly. I wanted to check on the festivities. I watched from the shadows until fires were being put out. I moved in and helped with all the heavy lifting. When they were all securely in their homes I retreated to the woods. I had to check on Nala. As her sick bed came into view I realized tonight would be her last. "Hello my friend." I said softly. The other animals moved aside so I could see her. She purred weakly in recognition. She couldn't even speak. She looked me in the eyes suddenly.

"Remember all I taught you. Keep us safe. The forest and you are one." With that Nala passed on to start her next and greatest journey into the beyond. The one journey we must all make and we must make it alone. I through my head back and yowled to the sky mournfully. Another mountain lion intertwined my tail with hers in comfort. The pelts brushing against mine did help to calm my nerves. When the grave was started I helped to dig it. I owed it to Nala. She'd helped me so much in the past 100 years. She was like my sister. When she was buried I lied down beside her grave and touched my nose to her tombstone.

"Goodbye, my sister." I muttered. I wept until the tears refused to come; then I sunk into a miserable, silent vigil.

When morning came I stood and stretched. I looked at her grave whimpering. Nala had been my sister, my teacher, and the one I trusted when I had no one else. "Good bye sister." I walked away from the grave and ran another circuit of the perimeter to try and remove the pain. A mountain lion found me just as I was about to finish.

"We need your advice." She mewed.

"What is it?" I questioned. She gestured with her tail for me to follow, and I went willingly. Two kits jumped onto my paws when we stopped. "Whose are they?" I inquired.

"Nala's," The she cat whimpered out.

"Have they no family?"

"I have four kits of my own, and Raissa is going to kit soon. The others have kits as well. No one else can take them. She wanted you to raise them if anything was to happen to her. Will you take them in?" She questioned. The kits looked up at me with large eyes. They didn't even mewl as they waited for my verdict.

"I will take care of them." I decided nodding. I owed Nala so much. This just made us a little closer to even.

"Thank you. I'll leave them with you then." She said before running of to care for her own young.

"What are your names?" I inquired.

"I'm Raven." The she cat said puffing up her chest.

"I'm Sari." The other she cat said. I smiled.

"It's nice to meet you. What do you two know how to do?" I spent the rest of the day teaching them. They needed to hone skills they'd already developed, and they still had a lot to learn. That night I found them a place to hunker down before I went off to run patrol. I waited until they were asleep before I took off through the trees to make a quick circuit. When I was done I collapsed exhausted. I'd been in an animal form so much recently sleep was very much needed.

The next year passed in happy blur. No vampires tried to come on our land, and the animals were content with their lot. There was only petty squabbling between them. It was just a very good year over all. Sari and Raven were so big now. They could hunt for themselves, and they barely needed me anymore, but they stuck to me. They liked being near me. They would come with me on a patrol or two, and they would hunt for me occasionally. In them I saw their mother. I told them stories of her all the time.

I gained no new siblings. The blood lines were probably too weak. It wasn't like I needed help to hold down the fort. Vampire activity was at an all time low for the past decade at least. I was walking through the forest, just a routine thing when an animal ran up to me covered in blood. "What happened?" I questioned as I healed the poor creature.

"There's a vampire in the area. They're after my sister. Please, save her." The bear pleaded. I nodded and followed the bear's scent trail. I stiffened as I ran. There was more then one of them. The old fear started to creep in, but I couldn't let myself back down. I had to protect the forest and the tribe. I had to do my job, no matter what. I came into a clearing to see a very unwelcome sight. The Cullens were back in town. Pain ripped through me hard and strong, but I had long ago found a way to think around it. I ran past Emmett to block the bear he was going after.

"What the hell?" he inquired confused.

"Get off tribe land." I said blocking the bear. I felt the creature shaking behind me. She was bleeding, and she couldn't move.

"What?"

"Are you stupid leech? This is tribe land. The treaty became null and void when your side broke it over 100 years ago." I spat at him. Rosalie was at his side a second later growling. "Feisty, are we?" I taunted. Emmett hissed protectively. "Leave," I ordered once more.

"We aren't here to break the treaty. We're on our land. Who are you?" Carlisle inquired stepping forwards with the rest of the Cullens not far behind.

"I'm the protector of La Push. We figured you'd come back expecting us to value a treaty you broke."

"We never broke the treaty." Carlisle said again.

"Oh, is that true? Bella told us all about what you did to her."

"What did we do?" She questioned innocently hiding behind Jasper slightly. Jasper growled protectively. I could see Edward watching her to make sure she was safe.

"You know damn well what you did. I'm surprised you of all people have enough nerve to come back here." I said shaking my head.

"I'm sorry. I really don't understand. What are you talking about? What did Bella tell you?"

"Why are we even talking to this mutt? She obviously doesn't know what she's talking about. She gives the word bitch a whole new meaning." Rosalie growled out. My adoptive children burst through the trees, and I pulled them under my mental shield.

"What the fuck?"

"Language Alice," Esme reprimanded.

"Calm down you two, it's fine. I'm having a nice talk with them. They aren't stupid enough to try anything, are you?" I questioned looking over at Emmett.

"We aren't here to fight. We simply wanted to return home. We couldn't come back until now. The house held too many painful memories. We missed Bella terribly. The century and a half since we left has been extremely hard on us." I wanted to scream. It'd been hard on him?

"I'm here to make sure the animals and the tribe stay safe. You being this close will cause problems." I informed them.

"You can't be serious? You protect the animals?" The girls growled and the fur on their hackles rose.

"Yes I do. Do you have a problem with that bloodsucker?" Rosalie took a step forwards as if to fight me. Emmett put a hand on her shoulder.

"We'll stay on our side of the line." Carlisle said calmly. I nodded. I turned and walked to the bear's side.

"Sh, it will be fine." I murmured before I healed her. "Go see your brother; he's worried about you." She nodded before racing off. The Cullens stared at me with hanging jaws.

"We'll be watching." I said before I turned and returned to the tribe. I ran to the elders and informed them of the Cullens return. They were upset, but they trusted I would keep them safe. I couldn't fail them. I went to the forest and sat beside Sari and Raven.

"What's going to happen now?" Raven questioned.

"I have to go talk to them again. I have to fix what they ruined all those years ago."

"Do what you have to." Sari said simply. I nodded. It really wasn't as simple as she made it sound, but she was right. Jasper should know what Alice was doing to him. He should know Edward was a horrible brother. Pain was ripping through me at their names. How was it they could still do this to me 154 years later? It wasn't right. I would probably be giving Jasper some of this pain, but he shouldn't live a lie. Besides I would have to tell them who I really was anyway. I had a vision of me going to talk to them. I stood up and went to do what I had to. What use was there in fighting the inevitable?


	5. Chapter 5 The Path Twists

Chapter 5: The Path Twists

I ran up the familiar drive in vampire form and stopped at the front door. I took a few deep breathes before I knocked. Half a second later the door was thrown open by Emmett. He growled territorially. I rolled my eyes even as I stiffened terrified. I wouldn't show weakness to them of all people. "I have something to tell your family that has been hidden from most of you for 100 years." I said softly. Taken aback he stepped aside allowing me to enter. Once inside I had to work to stay standing. The monument to my weakness… The people that lived here were like the statues which celebrated it.

"What do you want from us?" Alice interrogated.

"That's not a good question to ask me right now." I spat back at her. She glared before moving to sit beside Jasper. He intertwined his fingers with hers. I could see him relax slightly as if she was a calming force. It was killing me. I was so close to just walking away to let him live in ignorant bliss, but the truth would eventually come out, and sooner was always better then later.

"What's your name?" Carlisle inquired.

"Nothing of importance," I hedged.

"What did you come to tell us?"

"I came to tell you why I very nearly raised an army to chase you off."

"What is it?" Emmett questioned anxious to know.

"100 years ago Bella found out something she wasn't supposed to after Edward dumped her."  
"Are we really going to listen to her?" Alice questioned frantically. "She's going to make up lies."

"Bella found out Edward and Alice were sneaking around together." I continued grimly as if Alice hadn't spoken. Jasper turned to Alice shocked.

"She's lying." She lied soothingly.

"I can see it in her mind. She's trying to tear us apart." Edward said scathingly. **Screw it! Nothing will come of them knowing your name. **_Tell them! _I cocked my head to the side.

"I thought you couldn't read my mind."

"It can't be," Alice muttered.

"Oh, yes it can."

"What's going on here?"

"I'm Bella. It's nice to know you don't even recognize the one you left behind. I came to make sure Jasper knew what Edward and Alice did. Jasper I'm sorry, but it's true. They lied. If you need me I'll be in La Push. The rest of you just leave me alone. You've done enough damage." With that I darted out the back door and ran from the house to my land in the forest. I broke down sobbing upon my arrival. A deer laid down next to me in comfort. I leaned into him gasping as I tried to reign myself in. When I finally managed it I ran the patrol before I went to stand by the boundary line. I knew they wouldn't manage to stay away. They never did. I saw a very unlikely face. Edward came into view just before dawn. He looked pissed. "What do you want?" I interrogated harshly.

"I can go wherever I want. Why did you ruin everything? It was perfect."

"Get out of her Edward. You aren't wanted here."

"What happened to: Don't go Edward! Don't leave. Please, I love you! I can change. Please don't leave! Please! You were pathetic, begging." He sneered. Each word was like a blow.

"Leave now." He turned and walked away silently. He'd done what he'd set out to. I settled down to wait for the next group of Cullens to disrupt my tribe as I worked to shove away the pain. I could nurse my wounds later.

**JPOV (Bella just ran from the Cullens)**

What? That couldn't be right. She had to be lying! Alice wouldn't do that to me. She tugged on my hand. "Jazzy, you can't seriously tell me you believe her." She said frantic. I pulled my hand from hers.

"Why Alice? How could you do this? And you, you claim to be my brother." I spat at them.

"I love Alice." Edward said simply. The bastard was smug. Alice pulled me from the house out into the woods out of every ones earshot.

"I didn't mean to fall in love with him Jazzy. I love both of you. Can't you understand that? I didn't want to lose either of you." Disgusted coursed through me."

"Don't talk to me Alice. You wanted both of us?" I interrogated.

"Don't be all high and mighty with me, Jasper _Whitlock." _Whitlock? So I wasn't even a Cullen any longer. "I brought you here. Without me you would be nothing. You are still nothing. You're lucky I even wanted you to begin with as pathetic as you are. You were never enough. With Edward here as well you were still barely worth my attention, but worth it all the same. Being with Edward made listening to your god awful complaining bearable. Can I just say I don't give to shits that you struggled with this diet. You were never a true Cullen." She's right. She's right. I had to check to see if my heart was still there. It didn't feel like it. The pain was threatening to crush me. Alice walked away smirking all the while.

It took time to be able to control the pain enough to think. What was I supposed to do now? I couldn't go see back. Too much sympathy or gloating depending on the person was waiting for me there. I couldn't bear to see them together. I couldn't go back yet, not like this. Bella had said she'd talk to me. I'd go to her. Did I want to? She obviously hated us. I'd felt her hatred for us. I really didn't have another option, so Bella it was. I ran towards the treaty line praying she would listen.

**BPOV (Present)**

Jasper appeared on the boundary line. I walked over to him hesitantly, afraid. "I'm not going to hurt you Bella." He said wearily. I nodded knowing he wouldn't understand. "Why didn't you come find us and tell me?" He interrogated.

"Because you disappeared off the face of the earth, and I had to try and move on too. I tried okay? I'm one person. I can't friking do everything." I shot back. I regretted it a second later. "I'm sorry Jasper. I didn't mean to get all defensive on you." He shrugged. "How are you holding up?"

"How could she do this to me? 100 years of lies! I was never enough for her." He said. My heart was breaking for him.

"She's a selfish bitch who only thinks about herself. You were plenty for her. She's just a horrible person. She wasn't good enough for you, not the other way around. Never forget that. You deserve so much better." I said heatedly.

"How did you deal with all of this?" _I didn't…_

"I was really preoccupied for the first decade. I didn't have time to think about it." **Liar! **_Shut up! _Should I tell him the pain was terrible? Or how the pain was always there? Should I tell him how it grew worse after that first decade? No, it was better if I kept it to myself. He didn't need to know how I had suffered. He didn't want to know. He said: how could they do this to _me,_ not _us_. I knew the feeling all to well. I couldn't blame him for not looking beyond his own pain. I still found that difficult to do at times. As I watched him suffer the same pain I had I knew I had to help him the same way my brothers had tried to help me. Jasper would not suffer the way I had. I'd be damned it I failed. He didn't need to hut the way I did. I would ensure he didn't.

"How could Edward lie to me like this? He's my brother!" Jasper spat out. I suppressed a wince at his name.

"I'm so sorry Jasper. Trust me, I understand." He turned and glared at me.

"How the hell could _you_ understand? You knew Edward for barely a year. He broke up with you properly. You didn't find out from someone you barely know. I've been with Alice for decades. _Never_ compare your infatuation with Edward to the love I had for Alice." He ran back towards Cullen place. Everything he said stung like a whip. It was all true. I might not have been properly dumped, but I'd barely known Edward.

I shook the thoughts from my head and stood before I shifted into a panther. I needed a different form so I could be free of the emotions. This was as close to an escape as I was going to get. I pushed myself harder, faster. I wanted to get the loop done quickly. My muscles started to hurt in a good way as I was finishing. I slowed to a stop near the border once more and shifted back to my vampire form. I gritted my teeth against the pain and settled down. I might not have been able to outrun it, but I could shove it away with the rest.

I leaned back against a tree and allowed myself to fade into unconsciousness. What did it matter? It was the middle of the day. I jerked to consciousness when I heard a twig snap. It was dark. I crouched down and growled a warning in the direction of the sound. A second later Jasper came into view. I jerked to a normal standing position confused. Why was he here? I was so tense. I cursed my body. Why couldn't I relax? Jasper wasn't like those other vampires.

"I'm not going to hurt you Bella. There's no reason for you to be so scared. It's not like you can't defend yourself." He half joked. _Could I really?_ After what had happened I wasn't sure. I shrugged in response. "I came to apologize. I lashed out at you when you were just trying to comfort me. I had no right to act like that. I'm sorry." He said trying to look me in the eye. I refused to make eye contact.

"It's fine. It's not your fault." I assured him.

"Yes, it is." He said stubbornly. I rolled my eyes.

"I can see you're too stubborn to change your views." I said rolling my eyes. Raven came up beside me and eyed Jasper suspiciously. "It's okay girl. He's a friend." She nodded still sizing him up.

"Who's that?" Jasper inquired.

"This is Raven. She's like my daughter." I said softly. She purred and rubbed her head against my leg.

"She's adorable." She turned and hissed at him. I laughed at his bewildered expression.

"She doesn't like being called adorable."

"My apologies Raven." He said holding his hands up in surrender. Raven turned back into the forest to hunt.

"What can I do to help you Jasper?" I inquired refocusing my attention on him.

"Why do you want to talk to me? I attacked you." He said ashamed.

"You're a vampire. It's in your nature." I said shrugging. I couldn't hold it against him. There were other things I held against his family, but there was nothing I held against him personally.

"I could have killed you. I wanted to. I'm so sorry Bella. If that hadn't happened maybe we wouldn't be in this mess."

"Never say that Jasper. They were sneaking around since James. They're just desperately searching for a good excuse." I said shaking my head. His eyes widened slightly and I caught a glimpse of pain before he hid it again. "Stop hiding your emotions. You have every right to feel however you want to. You don't have to hide it."

"What's your excuse? You're hiding pain." He pointed out. I looked away.

"You don't even know me Jasper. But trust me, I have my reasons."

"True enough," he allowed. His voice was strained. He was trying hard, but he needed a break.

"Come on. You need a break from everything. I can guess everyone's crazy at the house, or are they as cruel to you as they were to me?"

"What are you talking about Bella?"

"Ancient history… just forget I said anything." I muttered. He came with me to a meadow on his land.

"Where are we?"

"It's a meadow I found running patrols a century back." I sad shrugging. We settled beside the pond. Thank god it wasn't raining for once. Jasper seemed far more relaxed here then he had so close to the house.

"What are you thinking about?" I inquired after a while.

"Everything in the past century; I'm trying to figure out how I missed this." He said berating himself.

"No one saw it. They're like snakes. They have very useful powers if they want to hide things." I reminded him. He nodded. A lone bear cub came up to me and nuzzled me practically purring. It stumbled over to Jasper afterward. His eyes went wide. He must not have been so close to animals before except to eat them. He watched the cub as he walked off once more.

"That was amazing." He breathed.

"He knew you needed comforting." I explained. He was still shocked. "Snap out of it Jasper." I said a minute later. He blinked a few times before he relaxed once more. We talked about anything and everything we could think of, and we each learned quite a bit. I didn't know anything about Jasper before, but now I knew plenty, but there was still so much I wanted to ask him.

"You should come by the house Bella. They really want to talk to you. Emmett's really happy you're still alive." I could tell what he wanted to ask.

"I'm not ready to share that yet okay?" He nodded.

"Will you come with me?" He pressed.

"I'll come tomorrow."

"I'll come get you." I nodded grimly. He turned and ran back towards his home. I got up and tailed him quietly to make sure he stayed on his side of the line. He did. I wished I wasn't so distrusting. I wished I could believe he had good intentions and I had no reason to act like this, but my body was telling me to be wary, and my mind was screaming run. I couldn't overpower both of those feelings. I just couldn't.

I shook those thoughts from my head and took in the chaos of my home. I ran to my meadow and saw many creatures before me. The animals were frantic. They needed guidance. I went over to the herd of horses. They looked like quarter horses to me. The nostrils of the lead stallion were flared. He was scared. "Hello, what's your name? What herd is this?" I questioned him.

"I'm Fareth. We're the Herd of the Vampire's. We took a vampire in many years ago. We're stronger than most of our kind and faster." He said proudly.

"There's another herd here. They're the herd of the Shifters. They allow me to spend time with them and have some of my abilities. I'm a shifter vampire cross. You should be at about the same strength level as each other. The head stallion of that herd is named Astin. They normally sleep down by the beach tell him Bella sent you. He'll accommodate you and show you the lay of the land. If you need any more help he knows where to find me." He nodded and gestured for his herd to follow him. I watched the mares and stallions move past me; I smiled softly. There was a young filly at the end of the line. She was adorable. She kept close to her mother's side. Poor child, she had been displaced long before she should have been.

I moved farther in and helped out a pride of mountain lions. They moved down the path into the hunting lands. I sent the deer closer to the tribe where they would have a fighting chance. By the time the night was over everyone was placed in a new home. I shifted into a horse and galloped down the beach to where Astin and Fareth watched their herds. "Hello boys," I neighed.

"Morning Bella," Astin replied.

"Bella," Fareth questioned shocked.

"Yes, it's me. I told you I was a shifter." I reminded him.

"Get some sleep Bella. I'll keep watch."

"You're a great friend." I nickered putting my head on Astin's shoulder.

"Same to you, I can tell your tired, go sleep." He said good-naturedly. I wound through the herd until I found a place I could lay down. I folded my legs underneath me and allowed myself to sink to the sand. The sound of the waves lulled me to sleep.

A few hours later I was awoken by Astin's scream. I bolted up right to see him rearing up into the air in warning. "What is it?" I interrogated worriedly.

"The herders are coming. They saw Fareth's herd when they were making their way here. They want to capture some of us."

"Run, I'll distract them. Go to the caves." I whinnied frantically.

"Bella don't." Astin said coming to follow me.

"This is my job go!" I ordered gesturing towards the caves. He turned and bolted for the hills. I watched as both herds followed him. Thank god they'd run through the waves. Their trail wasn't visible from here. I went down into the lapping waves and trotted down the beach. When I came to the top of a hill and watched as the herder's approached.

I reared up on my hind legs and screamed to the sky so they would see me. "Look at that beauty! Come here girl." One of the men called. I pawed at the air. _Come and get me._ I thought smirking. They started to trot towards me and I cantered down the hill slowly. They gaped at me as I moved down the beach. _Follow the pretty horsey. _These guys were obviously armatures. They weren't very good. They circled their horses around and tried to get close to me. I stayed just out of their reach. They threw a rope, and I used it as an excuse to bolt. I galloped down the beach leading the men farther from the herds. They kicked their own horses into the gallop."That's it chase me." I whinnied to them. They were dead set on catching me. I veered into the forest dodging around trees far from any creatures they would want. Once there I pushed myself faster, so they couldn't see me anymore. I slowed and shifted into a mountain lion instead. I stalked forwards and found the men. I hissed at them angrily, and they turned and bolted back to the boundary line. They wouldn't be coming back anytime soon. I shifted back into a horse and galloped to the caves.

"Is everyone okay?" I questioned.

"We are now. Thank you Bella."

"You're all welcome. They won't be coming back for awhile. I'll see you all later." I called over my shoulder. I wound my way back to my home. At last it was quieter there. Most were resting after the long and hectic night. Families were settling in. Would the forest be able to support this many of its children? I could only hope so. I allowed myself to retake my vampire form. I grabbed a bag of animal blood and downed it quickly. It tasted disgusting, but it sustained me and that was its job. I didn't have to like it. I reminded myself yet again. Raven came into the camp carrying a carcass. "Are you hungry?" Sari asked following her sister into camp.

"Eat your fill first. I'll finish what's left." They dug in without need of further incentive. When they were done I was already in mountain lion form, and I ate their leftovers. I didn't mind. They had to eat as much as possible to guarantee a longer life. I wasn't sure what their life span would be after all. I buried the carcass and shifted to vampire form once more. I needed to stay in this form. The last thing I needed was for a Cullen to figure out my secrets. They had kept so many of their own. I shook the bitter thought from my head before the pain could truly set in.


	6. Chapter 6 Raven and Sari

**AN: I know you want Bella not to trust for a long time, but she has to start somewhere. Bella's been hurt a lot, and while her world was first destroyed by the Cullens more of the pain and trust problems originate from another source. She'll begin to trust in chapter eight, because if she never trusts them the story can't move on and develop the way it should. **

**I got a review telling me the story is confusing. I'm sorry for that, but for now some things Bella says or does are there to make you try to search for their real meaning. I'll answer questions about the story as long as they don't reveal too much of the plot, so ask away! I'm asking you to trust me and hang on for the ride.**

Chapter 6: Raven and Sari

When I was presentable I made my way to the border and watched from the tree line. I saw Jasper approaching. I wanted to run from him or fight. My body refused to trust him. I forced myself to walk forwards all the same. "Why are you so scared?" Jasper questioned.

"No reason," I lied smoothly.

"Are you ready to see them again?" Jasper questioned.

"Does a dead dog bark?"

"No," he said hesitantly.

"You have the answer to your question then."

"It won't be that bad."

"Jasper, don't," I said shaking my head. He had no idea. He held up his hands in surrender. "Let's get this over with." I followed him into Cullen land toward the house. As it came into view I balled my hands into fists. This wasn't getting easier. Why did I torture myself like this? Was I severely masochistic? "Are you okay Jasper?" I asked him in an attempt to get my mind off of my own pain by worrying about his.

"I'll be fine. They're out at the moment."

"How much you want to bet they come back while I'm here?" I muttered.

"I fell back and allowed Jasper to take the lead. As we entered the house I could see all of them. I wanted to turn around and run. Run due from the pain and fear. I wanted to get away. I kept my distance from Emmett and Carlisle. I was terrified. Even Rosalie and Esme were people to fear in my mind.

"Hello Bella. It's nice to see you again." I had no reply for that. If Carlisle wanted to pretend like he was my father I would let him.

"The last 154 years have been miserable for us." Emmett added. My temper was peaking.

"Yes, how horrible it must have been to be you, surrounded by family. It's a wonder you survived." I said spitefully. If they wanted to wallow in self pity they could do it when I wasn't here.

"What's your story then? You ran off to some vampire and got bit so you could live forever. That must have sucked for you." Rosalie spat back.

"You have no idea." I muttered. My voice was full of pain. It shouldn't have jumped that readily into my speech. It should have been buried deeper.

"What are you talking about Bella?" Jasper questioned.

"Forget I mentioned it. I wouldn't expect you to understand." It was true. What did they know? Rosalie was looking at me confused. I didn't meet her eyes.

"Why are you so afraid?" Jasper questioned.

"No reason," I lied again.

"Why are you here?" Carlisle questioned.

"Jasper told me I should come see you all." I said stiffly.

"You didn't want to, why?" Rosalie inquired.

"Maybe it had something to do with being abandoned, and don't give me any of that we had to leave crap. You could have called or left and e-mail address, anything." I said irritated.

"We listened to Edward. He said he was leaving and asked us to go with him. Alice convinced us it was the best choice." Carlisle informed me. I rolled my eyes. Why was I not surprised?

"We thought you could have a normal life without us." Esme added.

"My life has been anything but normal since you left." I admitted wrapping my arms around myself. Emmett came over to me and wrapped me in a hug. I forced myself not to pull back, but I did stiffen at the contact.

"Who put the trash in the living room?" Alice interrogated glaring at me.

"You walked in here of your own free will. It's no one else's fault." I retorted as I worked to keep calm.

"Don't be so rude Alice." Esme reprimanded.

"She deserves it. She's just going to ruin everything again." She said glaring at me again. _Bring it on bitch_. **Don't. She'll hurt you.**

"She never ruined anything." Emmett replied.

"James was after us, then there's Victoria, and there was always the potential of the Volturi." She shot back.

"None of them are problems now." I stated simply. _Yeah, the dead can't really cause problems can they… _**Nope**.

"Come on, they don't want to listen." Edward said pulling on Alice's hand. The movement sent a strong wave of the scent of animal blood towards me.

"Where were you?" I interrogated.

"Don't worry we were on our side of the line. I love it when the kids try to fight." Alice said sadistically. They walked away smiling all the while. "Are you okay Jasper?" I questioned looking over at him.

"I'll be fine."

"That's not what I asked." Before I could question further a mountain lion ran into the living room. She was bloody and held her paw off the ground. "What happened?"

"While these ones distracted you the other two came after us."

"On our land," I hissed out. I knew the Cullens were shocked. It wasn't everyday you heard someone speak in mountain lion.

"We were trying to get the others to our land before the Cullens went hunting. These two sought us out specifically to kill us, not for food. They drained no one but bit many before they killed them.

"How many are dead?"

"My pride is dead even the young." She forced out.

"Who else," I prodded gently.

"Another pride, a few bears, a pack of wolves, Raven, and Sari."

"No," I forced out in a whisper as the pain hit me. Not my children, not again!

"They ran to the front to defend the rest of us. They died as heroes."

"How many wounded?"

"30 of us are hurt." I kneeled down and healed her wounds.

"They won't get away with this." I promised her.

"Make them pay." She growled out before she ran from the house. I straightened up angrily.

"What is it?" Esme asked.

"Raven and Sari are dead among many others. I have over 20 wounded waiting for me."

"Who," Esme asked.

"The mountain lions you saw yesterday."

"You're this angry over some stupid animals." Rosalie said harshly. I growled loudly at her insolence.

"They are not just some stupid animals. I took them in after their mother died. All of the animals killed had lives, families, and friends. Does that mean nothing to you?" She didn't reply.

"What happened?" Jasper questioned.

"They were trying to get others get away before any of you went hunting. They were attacked, tormented, and many are dead now."

"Edward and Alice didn't do it, did they?"

"Who else could it have been?" They didn't have anything to say to that. "The forest is pissed. They want blood. They think you were distracting me so Edward and Alice could hurt them."

"And you believe them over us." Jasper stated.

"My family has always been there for me, and they have never lied to me. I can't claim as much about vampires."

"You're a vampire."

"A fact I hate."

"How can we convince you then?" Carlisle questioned.

"All I know is Alice and Edward must pay." They appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

"Pay for what?"

"The deaths of innocents," I growled out.

"Raven was fun to play with. She kept trying to claw me. Granted I do have cuts now, but it was a pathetic attempt really. Oh, was she important." Alice questioned feigning confusion.

"Outside now," I said walking out into the yard. Alice moved towards me and fear started to set in. I shook it away. I had to win. All I had to do was get her to stay away. She started circling me hissing. I lunged at her angrily and she came up to meet me. We collided loudly. I clawed at her arm, and I felt her skin give before I kicked her in the stomach, and she flew backwards. I landed lightly on my feet and advanced once more. She back up scared. She turned to run, but I wasn't going to let her. I pounced on her back, and we fell. I pinned her down easily. "Stay away from us or I will kill you. Take Edward and leave. If I ever see you again I will show you what the forest can truly do." I snarled at her. I sprang away from her so she could stand. Edward was at her side a second later.

"Why did you hurt her?" He yelled at me.

"You wouldn't know anything about hurting girls, would you Edward?" I questioned. He flipped me off, and I rolled my eyes at his childish gesture. What were we, 100? "Just get out of my sight."  
"You'll pay for this." Alice spat out as she held her injured arm. I suppressed the fear her words instilled.

"Leave," I ordered crouching. They fled quickly. I straightened up and allowed the fire to leave my eyes. I took a few deep breathes. It was harder to make it through that then it normally was.

"Bella that was sick." Emmett said from by the house.

"I have to go. I have children to bury and family to heal." I nodded to Carlisle before running off.

JPOV

"I didn't know Bella had it in her." Emmett commented.

"Something happened to her we're missing." I stated.

"Like what?" Carlisle asked.

"She's so territorial. She's scared though, of everything. Before we left she wanted nothing more than to be a vampire. Now she hates all vampires, even herself." I said confused.

"We can't force her to tell us. She doesn't trust us. We have to find a way to get her to trust us." Carlisle decided. We all nodded in agreement. The old Bella was shy, but at least she was happy. This new Bella was fierce, but fearful. There had to be a solution.

"We need to watch it. She beat Alice." Emmett said stunned. I hid a wince at her name. The pain from what they'd done was horrible. What was I supposed to do about it? What could I do?

"What are we going to do about them?" Esme inquired.

"Bella already sent them away. Honestly, I think that was for the best. I won't have them here. They lied to us for far too long." Carlisle said angrily. I could start to feel sympathy from them all. I didn't want sympathy. I wanted to be alone.

"I need some time. I'll be back later." I said before I ran from the house. I knew I was being cowardly, but I needed a break.

BPOV

I ran across straight to my home. There were horses, mountain lions, wolves, and bears waiting for me. They were all still bleeding. "The two who did this were harmed and given a warning. They have been sent off. We have to be careful with these two. They've been known to cause trouble." I told them as I healed everyone. By the time I was done with it I was wiped out. I yawned hugely. The animals dispersed after thanks were given. Astin walked up to me. There was blood on him, but he seemed unhurt. "You were there?" I neighed.

"They needed someone to carry the young. I helped to fight off the two bloodsuckers."

"You could have been killed." I said scared.

"But I wasn't. I'm here to help you mourn your daughters." He nickered softly.

"What about your herd?"

"Fareth is watching over them for me."

"You're a great friend." I wrapped my arms around his neck and he placed his head on my shoulder in comfort. I shook my tiredness away. Tonight wouldn't be a night for sleep. I shifted into a mountain lion and dug my paws into the earth. It wasn't long before I had the two graves made. I placed them both gently into their new graves before I stepped to the head of them.

"My daughters, you were learning so quickly. You were like the children I was never able to fully raise." I said as tears began to slide down my face into m pelt. I had spoken at too many funerals in the past century and a half. "You were smart and quick: generous and courageous. You died like heroes. You fought until the very end and gave yourselves so others could live on. You didn't die in vain. Your efforts helped to stop the leeches responsible. You were torn away from this life far too soon, but I wish you luck. You have a bigger hunting ground now, in the sky. Let the prey run bountiful and the sun always shine. Goodbye girls." I finished before I pushed the dirt into the graves.

Astin let loose a mournful cry throwing his mane. I couldn't stop the tears. I lay down with my nose close to the graves. Astin lay down beside me, and I pressed my fur against his side. He put his head lightly over my shoulder and nickered softly in comfort. Eventually he had to leave. "Good bye," I said softly. He nodded, and then he was gone.

It was just me and the children's graves now. They were right beside their birth mother. My best friend and my adoptive children had died within half a decade of each other. Was there no mercy in the world? No, was the answer to that question. I had learned that lesson long ago. I should have known it wouldn't work out. It never did.

When morning came I stood and shook the dew from my fur. I had to keep going. If I allowed myself anymore time I wouldn't start doing my job again. I ran the border three times just to be safe. There was no scent of vampire, no anything. We were safe. All of the animals were adjusting to their new homes. There was no one left to evacuate. There was even enough time for me to restock on blood bags. I downed two quickly then a third. I normally didn't let myself get thirsty due to my work. I didn't want to leave myself open to temptation. The next two days were peaceful. No one needed me, and I was able to finish the mourning process.


	7. Chapter 7 The Day Of Retribution

**AN: Tomorrow's the midnight release of Eclipse! I can't wait. I thought I'd help spread the happy with an early update. Enjoy! :)**

Chapter 7: The Day of Retribution

I heard someone approaching the border and ran there in wolf form. It was Emmett. I growled a warning at him. The fur on my hackles rose. He stopped quickly. "I'm looking for Bella." I kept up my growl. "Jasper's been missing for three days now. I need to talk to her." He was desperate, honest. I had sworn to help Jasper, so I would have to take the risk. I turned and ran back into the woods once far enough away I shifted back into my vampire form and ran to the border.

"What do you mean missing?"

"The rain washed away his scent trail. We can't find him. He's not with you?"

"No, I haven't seen any le- vampires since three days ago. I've been with the animals. I'll go look for him, but so help me god if I find out this is a trick so you can hurt the animals I won't just injure the ones responsible." I threatened even as I was shaking inside.

"Why won't you believe we won't hurt you?"

"Because I've heard that one before," I responded. _So stop lying to me!_

"We aren't Edward." He said desperately. I flinched internally at his name.

"I'm going to look for Jasper." I said running onto Cullen land. Once I was out of Emmett's sight I was a wolf. I dodged through the trees as I worked to notice the differences only I could. I found his trail and followed it to a meadow two hours from Forks. He didn't even look at me. I shrunk to the size of a normal wolf instead of the usual horse sized version. _Just let him pet you. You can do this. He's not going to hurt you. _**You've said that before and look where it got you. **I shook the thought away. I walked over to him and pressed my fur into his side. He didn't even blink. I whined sad. I nosed him worriedly. He looked down at me suddenly. I flinched scared.

"Why don't you go away? You must have a family. Why are you acting so suicidal?" _Don't run. He's just sad. He's not going to hurt you. Help him._ I whined softly and put my head on my paws. He sighed and began to pet my fur. I stiffened. Jasper needed comfort. The side of my body that was pressed against him was screaming to be released from the pressure. I would have to learn to deal with it. _Just focus on his voice. _**Are you sure you want to focus on his voice?**___Focus! _**The others had voices too, but you wanted to ignore them. Do you remember what they said that day in the forest? **_ I do. Shut up!_

"You're such a strange wolf." He said looking into the distance. "I don't know what to do girl. My wife's a liar and my brother's cruel. They lied and cheated. The only thing they told me was it was my fault." His voice broke. I pressed my body closer to his side. "I'm not sure if they're lying or not. Was it all my fault?" I shook my head. _No it was mine! I didn't fix it. I started it. My paper cut set this all in motion. I didn't end their lies sooner. I hid. My fault, it will always be my fault._

"Do you have a name?" I nodded and flashed him a wolfy grin. _Yeah, it's Bella. _ "Do you know Bella?" I nodded again. _Unless I recently switched bodies._ "Do you know how we could convince her to tell us what happened to her?" I shook my head. I wasn't even sure what it would take. I would probably just start trusting them again, wouldn't I? "I want to help her, we all do, but I don't know how. I was horrible to her when she first tried to help me. She's been without someone to talk to about all of this for over a century. I've had someone to talk to from minute one. She needs help and here I am talking to a wolf instead of trying to do just that. There has to be something wrong with me." He said shaking his head. _Was he sincere? He couldn't be lying. He had no idea about my powers. Should I tell him? Could I trust him? _It was time to find out. I moved to stand before him; I reared up on my hind legs before shifting back. I pulled the rain in to make my clothing.

Jasper gaped at me shocked. "Your family is worried. You should get home soon."

"You were the wolf?" He questioned. I nodded. "So you heard all of that." I nodded smiling.

"Trying to find a way to make me tell, are we?" I questioned smirking.

"I want to help you like you've helped me."

"I've only helped you a few times."

"Yes, but those few times you made this all exponentially easier to deal with."

"You don't deserve to hurt like this." I said simply.

"And you do? You're still hurting. I can feel it." He reminded me._ Stupid empath._

"I deserve it. You wouldn't need help if it wasn't for me. They took your actions and used them as excuses. Don't buy into it." I exclaimed in exasperation was temporarily over taking the fear. "If I'd stayed away none of this would have happened. I hate listening to you blame yourself for my mistake. None of this was your fault."

"You think this happened because of you?" He was shocked.

"I know it was my doing." I stated sadly.

"Bella what happened to you? You aren't the girl I remember." _That girl died over a century ago in the forest three years after being given a slow killing elixir in a different part of the same forest._

"Bella Swan was an ignorant girl who got herself killed. Bella Uley is stronger and lives on." I said coldly.

"You don't trust me." He commented.

"I don't trust anyone." I corrected him.

"Why Bella? You hate yourself for what you are. I've felt it. What happened to wanting to become a vampire? What happened to you?" He questioned once more.

"There's this thing called life Jasper. It's a merciless bitch who picks no sides and always laughs at the outcomes." I said darkly. He was taken aback by my comment. I could understand. The old Bella never would have said anything like that.

"Bella please let me in. I just want to help." He murmured taking a step forwards.

"I'm supposed to be helping you. Besides what right do you have to ask me to tell my story when I've never heard yours?" I interrogated.

"You're right." He said simply. "Will you come back to the house; we can all talk and maybe you can let us in a little. We won't force you to do anything you don't want to." He said locking eyes with me. _God, he's hot_. I shook the thought from my head. What was wrong with me?

"I can do that. They're scared for you Jasper. Emmett ran to the border imploring me to come find you." I informed him. His jaw dropped.

"How long have I been gone?"

"Three days. Come on. Let's get you back." I said turning towards the trees. As soon as I was sure he would follow I bolted off through the trees towards the Cullens house. I could hear him behind me, and I had to keep reminding myself it was Jasper so I wouldn't turn and attack him. We stopped as we neared the door. Emmett threw it open before we reached it. I stopped so as not to get too close to him. I followed behind Jasper into the house.

We went to the living room, and I sat on the edge of the couch. "We need to be open with each other. If we want Bella to talk to us we have to talk to her." Jasper said offering me a small smile. I nodded to the others. Rosalie and Emmett sat down opposite of Jasper and I. I was very much aware of every movement he made; I made sure he didn't get too close.

"What do you want to know Bella?" Esme asked gently.

"Why did you come back?" I inquired suspiciously.

"I wanted to remember you. This seemed like the best place to do just that." She said sincerely. I believed her. I was shocked, but then again I'd believed her before.

"What else?" Emmett inquired.

"Why are we babying her? She's not a fucking child." Rosalie exclaimed angrily. I flinched at her tone and hunched my shoulders slightly as if to ward off her glares.

"I'm sorry Rosalie. I'm sorry I'm an inconvenience. I'm sorry I don't trust easily anymore. I'm sorry I'm not dead the way some of you wish. Lastly, I'm sorry for the discord I've caused your family. _He _got one thing right at least. I'm not worth the trouble. I'll leave you alone." I finished as I worked to keep the pain from my face. I ran from the house. I could hear someone behind me hot on my heels. It wasn't just one but three. I felt the male grab my hand and yank me to a stop. The fear set in. I tried to yank my hand free but it didn't work. I growled terrified and kicked my restrainer in the chest. I crouched ready to defend myself. This would not happen again! "Don't touch me." I snarled out. The male held his hands up and took a step back while the other worked to get to his feet. The female took a hesitant step towards me. I turned to watch her carefully.

"It's okay Bella. No one here is going to hurt you. It's just us." She said soothingly. I shook my head to clear it and really looked at them. I jerked out of my crouch as I realized it was Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie who'd chased me.

"Emmett, are you okay?" I questioned worriedly.

"You surprised me. I'm fine." He said looking at me shocked.

"Why were you following me?"

"I wanted to talk to you, and they followed me." Rosalie said taking a step forwards.

"What do you want?" _Do you want to stab the knife a little deeper? I'm still breathing. _**What else could she possibly want?**

"I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean to dismiss your pain like that. I was looking for someone to blame all of this on, and I picked you. I'm so sorry." She said quickly.

"It's fine," I said through gritted teeth.

"Will you come back up to the house?" Jasper asked cautiously. I nodded. I followed them back to the living room and we all sat back down in our previous seats.

"Bella, why are you so scared of everything," Jasper questioned.

"I'm just really cautious." I said shrugging it off. They didn't need to know the real reason. I made a choice then and there. I didn't want Alice to see this. "I could tell you about my powers." I said hesitantly.

"What can you do?" Carlisle prodded.

"I can shift into any animal at will." I explained quietly.

"That's so cool!" Emmett boomed. He was so loud.

"That's a powerful gift Bella." Carlisle said smiling. I nodded. I knew it.

"What day is it?" I inquired suddenly.

"It's the 15th of June."

"How could I forget the date?" I berated myself.

"Is something going on today?" Jasper queried.

"Yes, it's a reunion of sorts. The day of many sorrows has past. The day of retribution is today. I have to speak to the tribe." I informed them.

"I've never heard of either of them." Carlisle said confused.

"They happened after you left. Basically I have to tell them tales of the war." I said my eyes going black.

"What war?" Jasper questioned interested.

"I don't want to relive this twice, so why don't you come to the gathering. It's going to start in an hour." I offered. **They'll hurt you and the tribe! **_No they won't!_

"Are we allowed to go on tribe land?" Carlisle questioned hesitantly.

"If I allow it. They trust my judgment."

"Then we'd love to go." Esme replied smiling softly at me. _See they aren't so bad. _**Leeches are tricky. Watch your back. **I waited as they all got ready. Jasper was the last to descend the stairs. He was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, but no one could pull it off like he could. I shook the thought away. **What the hell are you doing thinking about him like that? **_I'm admiring a fine example of the opposite sex._ **You're so stupid! Don't forget he's a leech. **My mind made no comeback.

"Are you ready?" They nodded and I led them to where everyone would gather. I shifted into a white fox and I saw the others gape at me. I winked at them. I wrapped my tail around myself and shut my eyes. I waited until everyone was there to open my eyes and jump up to my feet. I jumped into the air and landed in vampire form. There was scattered applause from the group. I saw them eyeing the Cullens.

"Welcome Quileute's. Before I start the traditional ceremony I have an announcement. The Cullens have returned to Forks." Anxious whispering came from the group before me. "They are willing to make peace and respect your ways. I ask that you embrace your strange neighbors." No one said anything as they stepped forwards. "We have nothing to fear from them. They knew nothing of the other two's deceit. Let's move on and grow." I said with an air of authority I rarely used.

Justin stood up and put his fist over his heart. The others followed his lead before they sat back down once more. "You can go sit down now." The Cullens nodded and found seats among the people.

"On this day 151 years ago the deaths were avenged. On this day the forest rallied against its enemies and the bloodsucker army fell. They tried to destroy everything. Did they succeed?"

"No!" They chorused.

"She tried to escape me. Did she survive?"

"No!" They said shouting war cries.

"That's right. The forest and I didn't let the red haired leech escape with her life after what she had done. We didn't allow her to keep us down. Her army was nothing when compared to the battalion I raised in your defense. They never stood a chance. For who can compete with all the forest has to offer?" I questioned raising my hands to the sky. Two wolves burst onto the stage and snarled viciously. Astin ran out and reared up neighing as he pawed the air fiercely. There were cheers from the crowd.

"Act it out!" A little one called. Others copied her demand.

"I will show you." They cheered happily. I moved the podium to the far corner. "I will be our attacker. The animals shall show you her fate; the fate of her army." I spat the words out. I turned to face them. I gave them the cue. Astin galloped towards me and I back flipped slowly over him so they could actually see me move. The wolves howled and three more burst from the undergrowth. They each took a side and came at me. I hissed quietly unable to stop myself. They lunged as one, and I dodged before I allowed them to take me down. They walked away and I lay motionless for a minute before standing up once more. I was met by a roar of approval.

"You all know the lessons this teaches. They thought they could win. This shows their arrogance. They were merciless. This shows most vampires are soulless killers. These lessons teach us to be wary and cautious. This battle reminds you how the world was shown only a select few vampires are allowed to walk on tribe land and get away with it." I growled out. They applauded and I offered them a small fake smile.

"I urge you to now celebrate the victory in the ways I cannot. I have things to which I must attend. I wish you all a good night. Remember the forest shall watch while you sleep. You're safe." They dispersed as I jumped from the stage and walked over towards the Cullens. They were wide eyed with shock.

"You're a powerful speaker." Carlisle complimented.

"Who attacked?" Jasper inquired.

"Who do you think? Victoria did. She killed many and spared few." I spat out angrily with my pain barely concealed.

"Victoria came back?" Emmett asked shocked.

"Yes, she did." I said in clipped words. I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I followed them back to their house quickly as I worked to control my emotions.

"Bella, why are you hurting so much?" Jasper said clutching his own chest.

"I have a lot of old pain. I'm sorry you feel it Jasper." I apologized.

"Bella, will you tell us your story?" Rosalie inquired. I could tell them the abridged version, couldn't I? **No.**

"I… no… I can't." I said ashamed.

"Bella, I'm sorry we left you unprotected with Victoria on the loose. Edward said she wouldn't be a problem."

"Edward says a lot of things. Few of them are actually true." I stated darkly. Jasper turned to look at my as my pain spiked. He cocked his head to the side questioningly.

"He isn't who I thought he was." Carlisle admitted. I felt bad for bringing it up. It was my fault he'd changed. It was always my fault.

JPOV (Present (Meaning Bella has gone home and the Cullens are having a family meeting.):

"Did anyone else notice she never included herself in any of the statements about the tribe?" I inquired.

"Yeah, it's like she's not a part of them; like she's simply a protector and nothing more." Rosalie agreed.

"I can't believe we left thinking she'd be safe and Victoria came." Esme said sadly.

"We had no way of knowing she would come for her."

"No, we had no way of knowing she wouldn't." I interjected darkly. Emmett nodded in agreement, and Carlisle nodded in agreement.

"She's so alone." Esme added.

"We just have to do everything we can to gain her trust." Rosalie said firmly.

"Like what?"

"Like switch our diet and spend as much time with her as possible." I groaned out.

"What's wrong?"

"Another diet switch," I muttered as my face contorted in disgust. They laughed at me. "Let's see who's laughing when you're drinking animal blood from a bag." That stopped Emmett's laughter.

"She's not going to let me fight with bears anymore, is she?" He questioned resigned.

"You always kill them, so I'm going to take a wild guess and say no." I replied. His frown deepened.

"That blows," he muttered. Rose rolled her eyes at the pair of us. It wasn't like I wasn't going to do it. I it helped get Bella to trust us I was all for it. I wanted to help her. She was trying so hard to help me, but I knew she was hurting. There had to be a way to get through to her, a way to get her to let me in, and I was going to find it.


	8. Chapter 8 Bella's Family

**AN: I went to the midnight showing of Eclipse and I loved it, but I just wish Jackson should have worked on his southern drawl more so he didn't have to speak through his teeth. Did anyone else think so? It did get better as the movie progressed. I wanted to kill the team Edward and team Jacob people alike. For the record I have nothing against them until they keep saying either Edward or Jacob are the best choice for Bella. Don't they understand Bella should go for Jasper? I guess some people just don't realize a sexy cowboy is better than a sulking boy or a temper tantrum throwing mutt... Sorry to anyone who's still on team Edward or Jacob who reads this, but it's true.**

Chapter 8: Bella's Family

The next two weeks passed with shopping trips with Rosalie, video games with Emmett, books with Carlisle, laughter with Esme, and healing with Jasper. They were working so hard to prove to me I could trust them. They'd even switched to bagged animal blood. I was more comfortable around them; I wasn't as tense anymore. I was laughing for the first time in… far too long. I was smiling. They had no idea how or why I was hurting so they weren't sending me sympathy; they weren't avoiding topics like they were the plague. It was such a nice break.

Jasper and I were good friends already. I was helping him heal. He was forced to face his pain while mine lay buried. He was working on confronting his. It made me feel weak… It wasn't until I was alone that the pain set in. The reminders crept up on me when I least expected it.

I had just been through one of those times when I decided I would go by the Cullens' place. When I showed up I was hit by a wave of pain. It made mine jump to the surface and my knees nearly buckled. I grit my teeth against it even as the memories started. **"Did you really think we'd let you get away? You're not going anywhere."** I shook the memory away whimpering. I went up to the room from which the pain was emanating, it was Jasper's.

I found Jasper sitting on his bed. I sat down on the floor near him. "Jasper," I said softly. He looked at me with pain in his eyes. He quickly tried to hide it. "That just makes it worse. Let it out." I prodded softly. He didn't reply. "Jasper, you can't keep it in. It eats at you."

"I shouldn't dump this all on you. You dealt with it on your own. I can to." He said persistently. _No I didn't. I have never dealt with it._

"No, you can't. I had help from my pack for a decade. After that I had the animals. Everyone needs help." I saw his pain flash to the surface.

"How could she do this to me? How could my brother betray me?" He yelled. "Tell me how he could leave you and steal her from me? No, not steal, guide her away willingly." He spat out. I was suddenly seconds away from ripping something apart.

"I don't know Jasper. I've been trying to figure it out for over a century."

"She said it was my fault. I caused it. My mistakes, my scars; I was too clingy." **Doesn't that sound familiar? Your mistakes were always the cause for everything. **_I know._ A surge of anger hit me, and I growled. I couldn't tell whose emotions I was feeling anymore. I just knew they were strong.

"You deserve better than that evil pixie bitch! If she couldn't love you for you then she's worse than I thought. None of this shit is your fault. She chose to cheat, lie, and manipulate. She told you what to wear, where to walk, and how to talk. You're better off without her, because for once you're allowed to be yourself. You're torn up over a slutty, demonic bitch, and I hope she rots in hell for what she's done!" I yelled in a hiss. Jasper was staring at me shocked; then I heard applause from behind me. I turned to see Rosalie and Emmett standing in the doorway.

"Well said Bella." Rosalie commented smiling. I nodded unable to smile, because I was still too angry.

"Pretty defensive aren't we." Emmett teased.

"He's my best friend. How the hell am I supposed to act?" I interrogated. Thank god I wasn't capable of blushing.

"Leave her alone you two." Jasper said good-naturedly as he recovered from the shock. "You're right." He said to me. Thank god he was realizing it. "So why don't you take your own advice?" That threw me.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why don't you realize you deserve better?"

"Because I don't: I was never good enough for him. When we dated everything was so unequal, unbalanced. I had nothing to give him. I knew he would leave me. I had nothing to hold his attention. I was just the clumsy, blushing girl who smelled good. I was a distraction, a time filler." I explained quietly. This was the first time I was actually telling them the truth about the past. I normally just shrugged it off. Did I really trust them? Trust was such an odd concept for me. Their growls brought me back to reality.

"That's not true." Jasper said shocked.

"Yes it is."

"Who told you that?" Emmett interrogated.

"Edward did, but he didn't need to. I knew I wasn't anything special. I loved him anyway." I admitted.

"Explain." Rosalie ordered looking me in the eye. I quickly dropped my gaze.

"He always talked about leaving, even before James. He always had to do more. I'd say I love you he'd say I love you more. Like there was no way my feelings could be as strong. I could never talk to Mike, because I couldn't defend myself. I couldn't drive my truck, because he drove better. He kept me safe."

"No, he controlled you." Jasper blurted out. I shook my head unbelieving and continued my explanation.

"How could we compare? He's beautiful I'm not, never have been. He's smart; I'm mediocre. He's good at everything; I was the opposite. He gave me everything while I had nothing. He had money; I was struggling to get by. I never had anything to offer him but my love. It wasn't enough. It could never be enough. Why am I saying it? I wasn't enough so he left me. Like a dog with a shiny new toy the initial fixation dies down after awhile, and the toy lies in disuse with when the dog finds something new, something better." I forced out. There was so much pain in my voice. It was impossible to hide it when talking about this.

"That is the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard." Rosalie exclaimed.

"How could you believe that? It's not true." Jasper inquired angrily half a second later.

"It is true. He always deserved better than me. He was everything I needed and everything I wanted. I wasn't enough; I never have been."

"Do you hear yourself? You sound like me, and you just screamed at me. Bella, none of that is true. Edward was never enough for you. He should have been able to love you for who you are. It's his loss." Jasper stated stubbornly. I shook my head in disbelief.

"I never deserved love." His eyes flashed with anger.

"What will it take to make this get through to you? You _do_ deserve better. You _do_ deserve to be loved. You _do _deserve to be happy. I don't know what he did to you, or how he got you to believe all of these lies, but I'm going to kill him." Jasper growled out.

"You really think that?" I said in a small voice.

"Of course I do." He said giving me a quick hug. I barely even stiffened. I'd made another decision.

"I want you all to come meet my family." I said hesitantly as I shoved the pain away once more. "Where're Esme and Carlisle?" Would they want to? **No, who could ever care enough about you to want that? **_Shut up!_

"They went away for the week." Jasper informed me effectively ending my inner dialog.

"Then I guess I'll take you there in a week."

"I don't want to wait that long." Emmett whined. I smiled. How had I managed to hate him? Why was I still tense around them? Why couldn't I just let them in? Stupid friking instincts. I cursed mentally. Rosalie smacked Emmett upside the head. "What was that for?"

"You should be happy she's even considering taking us to the other side of the line. Jasper hasn't even been over there, and she trusts him more. She's being a hell of a lot nicer than the day she was about to try and rip our throats out for showing up." Rosalie scolded.

"I was being a jerk." I admitted.

"You were doing what you thought was right." Jasper countered.

"No, I was grouping every vampire who ever came near my land together. I never asked why they were there. I killed anyone who came too close." I said shaking my head. I had been so blinded by hate and fear.

"Have there been many?"

"Other then the war, there's been only twenty." I admitted.

"You were doing your job." Jasper said again. If that's what he wanted to call it who was I to stop him.

The week was very peaceful. Jasper and I hung out in what was now our meadow. He was my very best friend. I'd helped him heal, and now I could say I trusted him almost completely. My body only whispered 'run' when he was near me now. Emmett and I played games and messed around. Rosalie and I went shopping twice. It was nice to spend time with her, but I felt horrible having her spend money on me. It wasn't as if I had money of my own.

We were on one of those shopping trips today. It was just the two of us. The guys hated shopping. I really couldn't blame them. I went along with it because it was something I could do with Rosalie, without the guys. It was nice. "What do you think of this?" She questioned as we neared hour three. She was wearing a beautiful electric blue strapless dress. I envied her for her ability to wear flashy clothes.

"It's beautiful." I complimented. It really did suit her perfectly. It showed just how pretty she really was, but with Emmett as her mate I doubted it would last long. It sent a pang of loneliness through me. I had no one; it was entirely my fault. No one would want to put up with someone like me. Who wanted something ugly and broken when there were beautiful, unscarred, carefree women out there? **Jasper wouldn't. Those men where right: Who could want you? **_Shut up! _I screamed back even as my spirits sank. It was probably true. How could he want someone like me. **Why are you even thinking about this? He can't be trusted. **_Too late for that one! _**Heartbreak will follow. **_No it won't! I'm not even going to talk to him about that. I'm just going to be his friend._

"Are you ready to go home?" Rose questioned interrupting my train of thought. I nodded.

"When we get back I can show you how I get my clothes." I could see the curiosity raging in her eyes, and it could have been the reason we were out of that store and headed towards her home faster than I thought possible. I was just glad to be out of the mall where my lack of wealth truly showed.

When we arrived at the Cullens' place she ran up to her room and quickly put all of her bags away. She really was eager to see where my clothes came from. She was standing before me a minute later. "Let's go outside where it works best." She nodded curiosity clearly visible in her eyes.

"Hey, what are ya'll doin'?" Jasper questioned. Wow, he really did have a southern drawl.

"Bella's going to show me how she's gotten her clothes all these years." Rosalie explained excitedly.

"Can we watch too?" Emmett questioned appearing behind Jasper, which caused me to flinch. _Damn it!_** And you claim you've gotten over it. Pathetic! **_Shut the fuck up. _They were looking at me expectantly. I forced a small fake smile to my face.

"Of course," I allowed.

"Sweet!" Emmett boomed running outside. Rosalie rolled her eyes at his antics.

"Okay watch the raindrops." I told them. They focused on the rain around them. I

called the raindrops to me. They came happily, lovingly. They formed around me to make a dress. The earth added a tint of brown to the soft blue. Rosalie gasped as the rain actually destroyed the other outfit I was wearing. The dress was exactly the kind of thing I could function in. It was just the thing I could where when shifting. I just had to shift into a smaller form and the dress could be saved.

"Bella, it's beautiful." Rosalie whispered. Her eyes were huge with shock and awe.

"That's amazing." Emmett added. Jasper was staring at me shocked. His jaw was hanging wide open. It was flapping slightly like he was trying to close it, but he found himself strangely unable.

"I don't have money and when I shift my clothes don't come with me so I needed a way to get clothes fast.

"That's a power you know." Jasper informed me finally finding his voice. **He was just making sure he wouldn't mention how hideous you look. **_He was not! _**Yes he was. They were right. Who could think anything else? **_Jacob said… _**Jacob is dead because of you. **

"I guess I have a lot of powers then." I said shrugging.

"What else can you do?" I hesitated and Jasper was immediately backtracking. "Only if you want to tell us that is." He was cute when he was flustered. **Are you retarded? **_I know I know. Shut up!_

"It's okay. I can talk to animals like speak their language." They gaped at me.

"Dude that's so cool," Emmett exclaimed.

"It's very useful in my line of work. It also helps with the whole creature of legend thing." I admitted.

"What are you talking about?"

"A mountain lion, my best friend, Nala told me there is a legend stating I am the one of the animals legend. I have protected them ever since. It was her children who were killed the other day." I explained sadly.

"Were you ever told what the legend would entail?" Jasper questioned hesitantly. Pain flashed through my eyes before I was able to bury it.

"I was, but I'm not ready to tell you."

"It's okay Bella. We have forever." Emmett said to help alleviate the tension. I smiled weakly at him.

Carlisle's car could be heard coming up the driveway then. It was perfect timing. "We're gonna see the other side of the line!" Emmett crowed excitedly. He was so excitable. When Carlisle and Esme got out of the car they seemed surprised to see me.

"Hello Bella, what have you done to get them so excited?" Carlisle teased. I shrugged.

"I promised them to introduce them to my family, but I said we had to wait for you to get back. Do you want to come with us?" I questioned hesitantly.

"Of course, that would be wonderful Bella." Esme gushed. She ran inside and I could hear her throw her bag in her room before returning to stand before me once more.

"Are you ready?" They nodded in affirmation before I took off through the trees. Running was the one time I felt truly free. It was amazing. It would have been nicer if I wasn't so terrified to have them behind me. It was a constant battle to keep myself from turning to attack them or to simply disappear. I was very good at both after all. When we crossed the line I arched wide of my true home. I decided it would be best to start with my brother of sorts, Astin. I stopped as we reached the shoreline.

"Astin," I called over to him. His head jerked up in my direction.

"Bella," he said worriedly. He galloped over to my side and eyed the vampires behind me cautiously.

"Are you okay?" I nodded.

"They're old friends. They haven't done any wrong. I wanted them to meet you." He snorted at that. I turned to the Cullens once more.

"This is Astin. I've been a part of this herd practically since I was changed. They're now faster and stronger due to their involvement with me. Astin is the herd's leader, and he's like a brother to me." I explained. He placed his head on my shoulder and eyed the Cullens. They were staring in wonder.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Astin." Jasper said bowing slightly.

"I like him." Astin conceded. I smiled.

"He likes you." I informed Jasper who smiled hugely.

"It's nice to meet you Astin." Carlisle and the others said copying Jasper's courtesy. They would get along fine.

"So all of those horses belong to one herd?" Emmett inquired.

"No the herd of the vampires is here for safety. There are many animals who came to me seeking protection once you returned. I'm pretty sure everything that was once in your hunting grounds now lives somewhere on my land." I admitted.

"They fled that quickly?"

"They were all here by day two. They moved faster after hearing about the bears that were attacked. They were fearful." Emmett ducked his head realizing he'd caused this. "I want to show you my true home. Follow me." I took them straight to the center of my forest dwelling. They looked around themselves in wonder.

"It's beautiful Bella." Rosalie whispered.

"The animals helped me make it so. My old pride used to use it for meetings. Those who remain are now loners." I said wistfully. The animals were watching from their hiding places. "You can come out. It's safe. They won't hurt you. I swear it." A mountain lion disentangled herself from the bushes. It was the same one who'd told me off Nala's kits. Birkita: that was her name! She eyed the Cullens warily before approaching. She looked at them with wise eyes before pushing between Emmett and Jasper to get to the forest. They stared at the she-cat shocked.

"Did she just move us because we were in her way?" Emmett interrogated.

"Yes, she did. Birkita would have clawed you if you hadn't moved. She has quite the temper." Jasper was still dumbstruck. The young animals chose then to make their appearance. Their elders followed them cautiously. A young bear cub wandered close enough Esme could pet him before he wandered off. They looked to the animals around them in wonder. This was their first time being accepted by animals. It had to be overwhelming. I tried to imagine a life like that. I couldn't. The animals kept me sane. I couldn't lose them.

"I have one last thing to show you." I said some time later. I walked through the trees to the graveyard that up until now only I was allowed to view.

"There are so many graves." There was muted horror in Esme's voice.

"These are the graves of my family."

"What do you mean?"

"Over there are the graves of Sam's pack, my brothers. In front of you are the graves of my pack, my siblings. To the far right the final two graves are those of my children." I forced out covering the tattoo. The pain was back and strong. It was so hard to fight it. I almost wanted to let it swallow me.

AN: Bella say what? I love this chapter the most… so far. So what do you think? Reviews really do make me write faster you know.


	9. Chapter 9 Everything Will Be Okay

Chapter 9: Everything will be okay

JPOV

"To the far right the final two graves are those of my children." Bella forced out. The pain radiating off of her was so strong. I wanted to go comfort her, but she flinched when we drew near. I was shocked as were the others. Her children? She'd had kids? The looks on the girls' faces were a mix of pain and empathy. I wanted to know what'd happened to Bella so badly. I wanted to hurt those who'd hurt her. I had a feeling she had a horrible past.

BPOV

I took an unnecessary deep breath before I turned to face them. I could see shock and confusion on their faces. It made sense considering what I'd told them, but I couldn't talk about it. **Weak as always: It seems some things never change. You're pathetic. **_I know. _

"Bella, we're confused. What do you mean when you say your children? Did you take in another mountain lion's kids?" Carlisle questioned. Instinctually my hands came up to cradle my flat stomach.

"No they were mine, and they were the light of my world." I whispered before I ran from the clearing. I knew I could trust them not to hurt my family. My family could take care of themselves. I had to get away before the memories broke free. I needed to escape. I couldn't go back to that time. I couldn't think about it.

JPOV

"No they were mine, and they were the light of my world." She whispered. I had to strain to hear her. The pure anguish she was radiating had my knees shaking. Then she ran off into the woods leaving us standing shocked.

"When," Rose trailed off. Emmett shrugged.

"I'm going after her. I'll see you back at the house." I called rushing after Bella. I wanted to help her. Seeing her hurting like that hurt me. I couldn't take it. I'd be damned if I didn't do everything I could to help her.

I tracked her scent easily until it changed drastically. I recognized it as the scent of Bella's wolf form. If I hadn't come across it I wouldn't have realized it was her. I slowed as I reached the clearing where she had to have been. She was radiating worthlessness self-hatred and agony. It almost brought me to my knees. As I entered the clearing I fell to my knees as I took in the sight before me. She jerked her head in my direction her eyes wide with fear and filled with tears. She was in a large wolf form. She was nearly the size of a horse. She was the deepest black. The reason for it hit me. She felt dirty used. Who'd hurt her so badly? I would tear them apart. I suppressed my anger quickly so as not to scare her further.

"Bella, it's me. I came to see how you were holding up. You ran out on us real quick Darlin." Darlin, where'd that come from? I didn't really care. It suited her.

She whined lowly to me. She was hoping I would understand. I shook my head. She barked out something else. Then she finally spoke. "Jasper, it's fine. I'm fine." She was speaking English, but it was so strange seeing it come out of a wolf's mouth.

"If you were fine I wouldn't be feeling pain radiate off of you like this." I countered. She growled in frustration.

"I… I'll be fine. I normally try not to think about them." She whimpered.

"What happened to them? What happened to you?"

"I can't tell you that. I can't remember that. If I tell you you'll run. I need my best friend." She keened shifting back into her vampire form.

"I'm not going anywhere Darlin. I'll be here as long as you want me to be." I could see her battling with herself. I really wasn't being fair. I hadn't told her my history either, but I was worried that if I told her mine she would run from me. I was just as bad as her. While she might be repulsed I shouldn't withhold the truth. I knew I could make it through the telling, and it would prove my trust in her. It might be the final push I needed to get her to open up to me… but I couldn't make myself say the words.

"Everyone always says that. They always say it doesn't matter. Then they change. They look at me with disgust in their eyes and hate in their hearts. I'm cursed to be alone for eternity." I couldn't believe my ears. She couldn't be serious? I already had feelings for her. Any man would be lucky to have her. She couldn't think like that.

I reached forward slowly and took her hand in mine. She flinched back, but I didn't let go. She calmed down quickly. "Sorry," she muttered.

"Never apologize for being cautious." I replied shaking my head. It hurt that she'd recoiled from me, but I knew her past was the reason, and it lessened the blow slightly. I should have known better than to touch her first. Everything had to be her choice, her move. I didn't want to rush her into anything.

BPOV

_Maybe I should tell him. He deserves to know who he's involving himself with. _**I thought you liked him. He'll run. Who wouldn't? You're pathetic, used, worthless… need I go on? **_No I'm pretty sure I get the point. _**Besides what if he hurts you like they did. **Alarm filled me at the thought. _He wouldn't do that! He wouldn't- _**Do you want to risk it? **_Maybe…_**Idiot…**

Was I being an idiot? I didn't know. I wanted to tell him though. I wanted to find a way to make him understand. I was shocked by my feelings. Since when had I longed to be close to anyone since Jake? **Do you remember what happened to Jake? He was killed because of you, because you couldn't stay away. Do you want that to happen to Jasper? **_No! Nothing is going to happen to him! _**Yes it will if you keep hanging around him. **

He was still holding my hand. Why was he still holding my hand? Why didn't he let go? **Because he doesn't need to know your story to want to hurt you. I told you he was like the others. **_Stop it! He isn't_ _like them. He's not going to hurt me! _No matter how loudly I screamed at myself I could feel the fear was starting to set in. Jasper released my hand quickly, but I could see I'd hurt him. I really couldn't win. No matter what I did he was left hurting too. **Then leave. If you left you could fix it instead of screwing it up for once. **_If I left the animals are unprotected if she ever comes back. _**Then don't talk to the Cullens anymore. You remember the prophecy. You know what will happen. **_I know I know. But I can't cut him out of my life. It physically hurts to even think about let alone try. _**You're pathetic. **_I know. _

"Bella, you aren't pathetic. You aren't worthless. You have no reason to feel like that." I shook my head. He had no idea. I had plenty of reasons to feel just about anything negative you could think of. If he thought this was bad it was nothing to how I felt when I was holding back out of courtesy. My emotions were so much worse when around the other members of his family.

"You have no idea what you're talking about." I responded sharply. _God that was rude. _**Oh, grow a pair and deal with it. **_I'm a girl! So shut up! _He smirked.

"You're right. I have no idea. Why don't you tell me?" He questioned. That brought me up short.

"I just can't." I replied after a moment.

"Is there anything you can tell me?" **You're going to get hurt again. **_Shut up!_

"There is…" I trailed of hesitantly. He stared at me intently as he awaited the rest. I looked down unable to hold his gaze for that long. "Their names were Erica and Kyle. They were the light of my world. They aged faster than normal children because of the vampire in them. They could also shift into anything they wanted because of what I can do. They were learning quickly. Their playmates were animals from the forest. Sam's pack adored them. They were the most spoiled children in existence." I smiled sadly as I reminisced. "I thought everything was looking up, but our happiness only lasted three years. Then Victoria killed them." I forced out. The tears were running down my face, and I couldn't stop them.

Jasper looked horrified and pained. He projected calm and understanding onto me. I didn't deserve to be comforted. "Don't feel like that. You deserve it. You deserve to be helped, loved, and cared for. Never doubt that." He stated with conviction.

"But I don't Jasper. I failed my children. I couldn't protect them. They had to watch mommy being restrained. They had to watch each other die in fire. They had to feel helpless and hopeless, and it's all my fault." I cried.

"No it's not your fault. She had others helping her right?" I nodded. "Then you tried your best. You fail them by not trying to move past it and continue to live your life. You can't let the guilt consume you. Their deaths aren't your burden to bear they're Victoria's. It's not like you asked for her to murder your kids. I'm sure they would want you to mourn them, but not to the degree where you can no longer live your life." I stared at him shocked he could actually be right. I wanted to give him a hug. I could do this. I wrapped him in a hug for a millisecond before I let him go once more. **Wow you're pathetic.** _I know, but I'm trying. _**Stupid.**

His face lit up like I'd given him a gift. It had been anything but. **You barely freaking touched him. That ranks pretty high on the list of most pathetic things you've ever done. **_Shut the fuck up! _**Make me biotch. **_I give up._ "Thank you Darlin." _Wait Darlin? I like it._

"For what," I inquired confused.

"For coming that close. For pushing your limits." He elaborated. _Aw, he's so sweet. _**You didn't do anything!**

"I can barely hug you. How does that deserve thanks? It's pathetic." I berated myself.

"No you aren't Bella. You're wary and afraid because of whatever happened to you. I don't need to know what happened to understand that, but if you want to tell me I'll listen." He reassured me again. _Could I do it? _It was a hard question to answer. Could I forgo every barrier I'd ever set up and relive my past? Relive the hell that made me who I am? I shook my head. I wasn't strong enough.

"It's not that I don't want to Jasper. I do, but I can't do it. I really value our friendship and I don't want to lose it over my past."

"You really think I'll run away?" I nodded looking down. I saw his arm reaching out and I tensed, but I didn't flinch away. He placed his hand under my chin and coaxed it upwards until I had to meet his eyes. He had beautiful gold eyes.

"Darlin I'm not goin' anywhere. No matter what happened to you. I care about you Darlin. Nothing you say is gonna change that." He cared about me?** Not the way you care about him!**_ You don't know that for sure. _I took a deep breath.

"What do you want to know?" I questioned.

"Why are you so wary and cautious around us?"

"I've had some bad experiences with vampires." I said bitterly. He waited patiently. "I just don't like it when people touch me." I elaborated. His eyes grew wide.

"What are you trying to say?" He questioned in his effort to deny it.

"I'm saying I was-" I couldn't finish it. **Yes you can. Tell him and see if he runs! **_Wow good advice from the evil side of my psyche... I was shocked. _"I was raped 150 years ago." I forced out. **"That's it bitch scream." **_Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! _I screamed at myself mentally. Jasper growled loudly, but surprisingly I didn't flinch. He didn't really scare me. Even the fear was bipolar!

"Who," he hissed out.

"A vampire I don't know. He's dead now." I said my voice cold. I knew my eyes were black with my anger as were Jasper's. This was why I wouldn't tell him the full truth. I wasn't going to give him any more details today. He'd heard enough. I looked over at him shocked he was still here.

"I'm not going anywhere unless it's to punch a tree." He forced out through gritted teeth.

"Calm down Jasper." I said quietly. He shouldn't do anything stupid because of me. This was my pain, anger, and self-loathing. He didn't need to take it on himself. "It wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was. If I hadn't messed up at your birthday party we wouldn't have left. You would have been protected!" He ranted and raved. Anger filled me. I wanted to tell him the true reason they'd left, but I bit my tongue. I wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

"No Jasper, it's not your fault. I don't blame you, and you shouldn't blame yourself." I stated firmly. He sighed.

"What can I do to help you? He asked eyeing me like I might break down any minute. I felt like I would be fine. I'd already successfully shoved the pain away. Jasper didn't need to suffer with me.

"I'm supposed to be helping you." I argued.

"Yes, but you need help. You've helped me plenty."

"I can't tell the others yet." He nodded in understanding.

"I want to be able to be around you without being so tense. I hate it. I'm afraid to run ahead of anyone for fear of what they can do behind my back. I'm afraid to be near large groups because I'm out numbered. I'm just afraid. I don't want to be afraid anymore." I whispered. There was pain in Jasper's eyes as he heard me talk about myself like this. I wanted to comfort him. **Where the hell did that come from? **_I have absolutely no idea. _

"I can influence you when you're around us if you'd like." He offered. He hesitated for a second before continuing. "We could work on you not being afraid to have someone near, just the two of us, if you don't want the others to know." He offered nervously.

"I'd really like that." I replied a little too quickly. "Can we start now?"

"Whenever you're ready. It's my turn to help you."

"Thank you Jasper." He nodded smiling kindly.

He helped me to work through my nervousness about hugs and running. Being close to him didn't bother me anymore. I stopped tensing up when he drew near. He never tried to get me to talk about what'd happened to me. He never pushed for details, and he didn't treat me any differently. It was as if I hadn't told him something horribly shameful at all. He was so good to me. I couldn't have asked for a better friend.

"There's one last test to see if you truly trust me" He informed me. I cocked to my head to the side questioningly. "The trust test human drama students do. You have to keep your legs locked and fall backwards. I'll be behind you to catch you, but you can't see me. It's all about trusting the other person." He explained. I hesitated. "We don't have to do it if you don't want to." He added quickly.

"I'll do it. I trust you Jasper." He smiled hugely at my statement. I stood in front of him with my back facing him. I could feel him behind me and I longed to turn to face him to make sure it was safe. My self-preservation instinct was still strong even if it was ignorable now.

"Whenever you're ready Darlin," he prodded. I took an unnecessary deep breath before I allowed myself to fall backwards. I was shocked when he caught me. It sent a jolt of electricity through me causing Jasper and me to jump apart.

"So you felt that to?" I questioned. He nodded. "What does it mean?" He looked away. "Jasper what does it mean?" I repeated. I'd felt it before, but it was getting worse.

"It means we're mates." I felt a tingle of joy at the words followed quickly by a slew of negative emotions.

"That can't be possible. Why is the universe so unfair you got saddled with someone so broken?" I interrogated disgusted.

"You aren't broken you're strong and you're healing. You've been through hell. I can feel your worry about being mated. You don't have to feel that way. Just because we're mates doesn't mean I'm going to rush you into anything. For now it can just mean I'm here for you. We'll go at your pace." He assured me. I smiled slightly before embracing him in a hug, and for the first time in decades I truly believed everything would be okay.


	10. Chapter 10 Strength of a Lioness

**AN: Sorry! I'm really sorry I've been gone so long. I had some stuff to sort out and everything went wrong just when I had time to write :(. Sorry again. I hope you like this chapter. **

Chapter 10: Strength of a Lioness

We walked back to the house hand in hand. It just felt right, perfect. He was beaming all the while as if he'd won the Olympics. It was so strange to see him this happy. I could still see a shadow of the anger he'd portrayed when I'd told him a little of my past. I knew I didn't have to worry. He wouldn't tell the others. I wasn't ready for them to know, but I'd have to tell them soon. They were planning on sticking around.

The Cullens eyes focused on our interwoven fingers. I smiled slightly. Their expressions were priceless. "When did this happen?" Emmett inquired with his hands crossed over his chest. Jasper shrugged. We were only a few feet from the others now. _It's fine. I'm safe. They're family. _**They're dangerous! The animals are your family. The Cullens outnumber you. They could kill you. Jasper could hurt you. **_He won't! _**You have no way of knowing that for sure. **

I took a deep breathe in an attempt to calm myself. Jasper looked over at me worriedly. "Bella, are you okay?" I forced a smile to my face.

"I'm fine." I assured him. Rosalie and Esme were eyeing me sympathetically.

"Bella, what happened to your children?" Esme inquired softly. **"Did you really think you could get away from me?" **_Shut up! _**"Mom help us! Mommy!" **_Get out of my head!_ **"Mommy run! *screaming*" **_No! _I whimpered softly. **It was all your fault. **_Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! _

Someone put their hand on my shoulder. I stiffened, sprang away from whoever it was, and growled loudly. Maybe they would leave if I scared them. Then I realized it was Jasper I'd growled at. I shut my mouth and straightened up shakily. My hands moved of their own accord to cradle my flat stomach. "Sorry Jasper." I apologized looking down.

"You were stuck in a memory. It's fine." I could still see hurt in his eyes. What was wrong with me? **Everything. **_That was meant to be rhetorical! _

I looked up and met Esme's eyes. "When they were three Victoria and her army came. She killed them." I couldn't hold her gaze any longer. I looked down ashamed to have ever been able to call myself a mother. I'd failed my children in the worst way imaginable. All of the Cullens growled, but Esme was by far the loudest. How she managed to be louder than Jasper I'll never know.

"That evil little bitch!" She snarled outraged. I remembered Esme's story. She'd jumped off a cliff because her child had died. She could sort of understand the pain I felt. I was still shocked she'd sworn though. Esme never cursed. I wasn't the only on either. "What? You know it's true. She's lucky she's already dead. I would have made it slow and painful."

"Esme!" Carlisle said shocked.

"Oh, come on Carlisle. You're thinking the same thing." She said waving him off. I shook my head in disbelief.

"Who's their father?" Rosalie questioned quietly after an awkward pause. I stiffened internally. **"You know you want this as much as we do." **_Stop it! _**"You can't get away." **_Shut the fuck up! _I shook my head to clear it of the horrible flashback. Damn my memory to hell. I hated it at times like these.

"Jacob Black." I said with only a slight hesitation. They gaped at me. Jasper's jaw dropped. Thank god he believed it. I needed to believe it.

"Wait, the werewolf?"

"Yeah," I said shrugging. I really wanted to stop talking about this.

"Thank you for taking us onto your land." Carlisle said changing the topic as if he could read my mind.

"No problem Carlisle. I wanted you to meet my family, and I wanted them to be a little less fearful.

"Do they all really live there?" I nodded.

"Like I said the herd of the vampires even relocated to my land once you came back. They know you're animal drinkers, so they were terrified. It's a bit over crowded, but it's starting to settle down as they get settled in their new territories and return to their old patterns." I shrugged.

"They could come back now that we drink bagged blood." Carlisle offered.

"Maybe, I don't think I could convince all of them to return, especially the bear you attacked Emmett." He looked down sheepishly.

"Could you try to convince them?" Esme inquired.

"Yes, I'm overdue to run a meeting for the animals. It would probably be best if you attended with me." Their eyes widened with shock.

"That sounds great." Jasper replied taking my hand in his. I smiled happy I didn't flinch away from him. He squeezed my hand to show he'd noticed as well.

"When is it?" Rose asked. I looked up to see the full moon begin to rise.

"It should be tonight actually. In about an hour in the baseball field: it's the only place with enough room especially since there are thirty horses now."

"We should go now then." Rose said excitedly. I looked to Carlisle he nodded. I turned and led the way. **Hear them behind you? They're chasing you. They're going to hurt you. **_Shut the hell up! They're family and my mate._ Jasper took my hand as if he knew I was battling with myself, which he probably did. My mind made no come back thankfully.

"I have to call everyone here." I slipped my hand from Jasper's and went to the center of the field. I shifted into my true form. I was now a horse sized white wolf. Jasper was in awe. I smiled slightly before turning towards La Push. I howled loudly to call the animals to me then I changed to a horse and neighed as well so the herd of the vampires would understand. I made sure it wasn't a warning call. They had a bit of time to show up.

The sound of galloping hooves broke the silence. Fareth and Astin came into view a second before their herds also burst through the trees. I whinnied happily and trotted over to see him. "What's this about?" Astin inquired.

"The Cullens are on a bagged animal blood diet as well. I'm going to suggest everyone moves back home. My land really isn't big enough to support everyone." I explained.

"That's wise. There was a territory fight today. I'm worried about the amount of parentless kits we'll have wandering the forest." I sighed.

"It was the mountain lions?"

"You know how Birkita gets when someone draws too near. They were fighting over a piece of fresh kill." Astin elaborated.

"Great," I shook my mane in irritation. I returned to the middle of the field and shifted back to my vampire form.

"What's wrong?" Jasper inquired worriedly.

"The prides were fighting over fresh kill today. Astin warned me there may be some motherless kits. The prides are all so full I can't ask any of the lionesses to take another kit."

Jasper gave my shoulders a squeeze. "Maybe all the lionesses lived." I shrugged. The other animals were arriving so I needed to focus. I waited until they were done asking questions to speak.

"I know it's been a while since I last called a meeting. This one is of a very basic nature. The Cullens follow the same diet as I do, so it is perfectly safe to move back. I can promise you they won't attack you. There are too many animals on my land. Many of you will die if you continue to insist upon living in such tight quarters." They were murmuring among themselves in agreement. Fareth stepped forwards.

"My herd will move on to the Cullens land." He declared holding his head high.

"Thank you Fareth." He opened the flood gate. Packs, herds, and families agreed to move back to their old homes. The amount of animals left on my land was less than half of what it'd been these past few days. I allowed the other animals to leave as I still awaited the mountain lions' arrival.

They were limping, and I felt horribly for them, but they'd brought it on themselves. I shifted into a mountain lion and growled at them loudly the second they were settled. All of them flinched back as a whole. Why couldn't I instill that sort of fear in my vampire form without being fearful? "Do you understand what you're doing to yourselves? There are only thirty of you spread between four prides. Why are you fighting?"

"There was fresh kill and…" A younger lioness, Kirva, tried to explain. I cut her off.

"And what, you grew so lazy you're incapable of hunting for yourselves? I expected more from you Kirva. Your pride needs a strong leader not someone who steals. Look at your pride. Do you see the injuries? Your kits are crying as are the kits of the other pride." She bowed her head in submission. Birkita held her head high. "Watch yourself Birkita. You have the right to defend your kill, but your pride didn't need to be so ruthless." She nodded, but didn't lower her gaze.

"Half of the animals moved off of my land into Cullen land. Only my pride is to remain on my land. The other three are to return to their old territory. I promise the Cullens won't attack you. Do you understand?" I inquired. They nodded.

"Okay, who needs to be healed?" I questioned in a much gentler tone. Ten mountain lions stepped forward. I healed them all. I was getting weak. I would have to sleep tonight. "How many are dead?" I inquired.

"My mother," a young lioness said. She seemed barely older than a kit. The poor girl.

"Any others," I asked. No one answered. "Then go back to your territories and leave each other alone." I ordered. They left quickly. Once they were gone I shifted back into vampire form. I was swaying slightly. I staggered a few steps forward before Jasper caught me.

"Are you okay Darlin?"

"I'm fine Jasper, exhausted, but fine. I'm going to have to sleep tonight." I said yawning.

"You're fierce Bella." Rose complimented. I smiled slightly.

"I have to be. They were fighting over a single piece of kill. There are how many deer in the woods? It was pathetic." I said rolling my eyes before I yawned once more. I really was exhausted.

"Do you sleep?" He inquired.

"Sometimes, usually in my clearing so I'm near if anything goes wrong, but that hasn't happened in decades." I yawned out.

"You're more than welcome to sleep at our house." Esme offered kindly.

"I don't want to be rude." My words came out garbled.

"You can take my bed. I don't need it." Jasper offered.

"Thanks Jazz." I sighed leaning into him.

"Let's head back." Carlisle decided. I tried to run with them, but I only made it a few steps before I nearly fell once more.

"Can I carry you Bella?" Jasper questioned hesitantly. I thought about it for a second.

"I think I'm too tired for it to matter, and I trust you." He smiled at hearing that I trusted him. He scooped me up into his arms and ran us back to his place. I wanted to sleep, but my body was aware enough not to let me sleep until I knew I was safely in the bed, and nothing was happening to me.

JPOV: (Right after Bella passes out)

She was asleep and I was able to think about everything she'd told me. Bella was so strong. She was so much stronger than I'd imagined. I wanted to break shit after she told me she was raped. Thinking about it now I had difficulty holding back a growl. I wanted to kill the one responsible, but he was already dead.

She'd also told us her children's father was Jacob. If she'd been able to be close to him why was she so cautious around me? Had she been lying? I didn't want to think about what that meant. When she was ready she would tell me, us. I had to be patient.

BPOV (sleeping):

I was immediately thrust into a nightmare. I was being chased. She wanted me dead. I'd ruined her life. She shoved me down the stairs, and I whimpered in pain. She laughed hovering over me. She ripped my head up by my hair. "Rot in hell bitch." She left me to die. I jerked upright in bed gasping. My eyes fell on the closet across from me, and I started shaking. She'd shoved me in there. She'd hidden me from everyone. Jasper burst into the room half a second later.

"What's wrong Darlin?" He questioned worriedly. He moved towards me. I forced myself not to react. I couldn't speak. He sat beside me slowly and wrapped an arm around me. I stiffened before I relaxed fully. I pulled myself closer to him still shaking. He rubbed soothing circles on my back as I tried to calm myself down. After a few minutes I finally managed it. I looked up at him slowly.

"Thanks Jasper," I whispered.

"Anytime Darlin," he assured me. I could see the curiosity raging in his eyes. He was too kind to press me for details, but I owed him the truth. I owed all of them the truth.

"I'm going to expl-," He cut me off before I could finish.

"You don't have to."

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. I owe you and the rest of your family the full truth."

"You don't owe us anything." He argued.

"I need to do this. I don't want to lie anymore."

"If that's what you want who am I to stop you? I can feel your worry. I want you to know that no matter what you tell us today I'm not going anywhere. I will never leave you." He assured me looking me in the eyes. I smiled slightly. He was so sweet. I took his hand and together we walked downstairs to the living room. I shuddered as I entered it. Everything had started here. Well not everything, but the reason I was here today had happened in this room.

They were all already seated around the room. Of course they'd heard me talking to Jasper. I took a few deep breathes to try to calm my nerves. I needed to talk about this. Jasper released my hand knowing I needed space. They waited patiently for me to begin. I took a deep breath and began.


	11. Chapter 11 The Past

Chapter 11: The Past

"You all left me 150 years ago after one accident. You didn't say good bye. You just left. Let me guess he said some bullshit about a clean break." I spat out. The seemed shocked by my abrupt beginning to my story.

"We thought we were protecting you." Emmett was desperate for me to understand.

"I'm pretty sure my life got a lot worse after you left, but don't worry Emmett. I don't blame anyone here."

"You left before Edward and Alice right?" They nodded. "Edward and I went for a walk into the woods behind my house and he told me he didn't want me. I wasn't good enough for him. I wasn't worth his time; I was just a distraction." They all growled loudly. I winced internally.

"He left you in the woods?" Jasper inquired as he worked to control his anger. I nodded. Jasper looked furious.

"I knew I couldn't find him, so I followed the trail back out of the woods. I found a note there that claimed I had written it stating that I had gone for a walk in the woods with him. I thought his name and I was on the floor in pain. I couldn't think of him. I later found out I couldn't think of any of you. It felt like a hole was ripping wide in my chest each time." I whispered. They looked tortured.

"It's better now. I can really breathe again." Jasper almost smiled, almost.

"I thought maybe Edward hadn't left, so I rushed here to find out. I ran inside the house, and caught Alice and Edward kissing." I forced out. Jasper grimaced. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for." He replied.

"When I asked them why Edward reminded me he didn't want me. I asked Alice how she could do this to Jasper." He clenched his hands into fists.

"What did she say?" He questioned.

"_What about him? Jasper and I are still together. The family knows nothing about Edward and I. Edward has already said he doesn't mind sharing me. Jasper will never have to know._" Pain flashed through his eyes and he whimpered. **You're horrible. You hurt him! **The Cullens hissed angrily.

"That evil little bitch!" Rosalie growled out. They didn't know the half of it.

"I couldn't believe it. I tried to convince her to give you another chance. You didn't deserve to be lied to." I said looking him dead in the eyes. He was shocked.

"You tried to help me after I attacked you?" I nodded.

"You didn't deserve the pain. I had to try to fix your relationship."

"You didn't and still don't deserve the pain either." He argued. I shrugged.

"She said you'd had enough chances and that she loved Edward too. I told her I had no sympathy for her. I told her I was going to tell you, because I wasn't going to let her keep lying to you."

"Human said what?" Rosalie gasped out.

"It wasn't the smartest decision on my part. She told Edward to run ahead and tell you guys she would catch up after she hunted. She convinced Edward she was only going to talk to me. I knew better than to believe her, but Edward did, or maybe he wanted me dead. It's probably the latter." Jasper growled the loudest out of all of them. I waited until they all calmed down before I continued.

"_You bitch! You almost lost me Edward and Jasper! Why couldn't you have stayed away from us! You did make Edward realize I was the one for him, but you just had to go and try to be all noble." _I told her you shouldn't have to live a lie. She didn't care. She had no problem killing me so she could keep both of you." Pain was heavy in my voice. Jasper offered me his hand and I took it gratefully. He was my anchor.

"So I asked lovely miss bitch how long this had been going on. Turns out they'd been sneaking around ever since the ballet studio." **She was happy to see you flinch in pain. You deserve to suffer. **_Shut up!_

"She bit me and started to drink. I tried to get free, but I knew it wouldn't do any good. She bit me over and over again. I couldn't even stand. She carried me up the stair just to throw me down them. I felt my bones break, but it was nothing compared to the fire." I shuddered. "She ran me upstairs and shoved me into the closet in your room, Jasper. That's why I freaked out this morning. She took my truck and hid it somewhere, so they would look for me in the wrong place. Apparently she thought I would die. My heart beat was very weak, and I didn't breathe until she was gone." They looked like they were going to find Alice and kill her now.

"So Alice is your creator?" Rosalie questioned hissing. I nodded looking away. Emmett was horrified.

"If you let either of them back into this family I'll kill them both." Emmett promised. Carlisle nodded stiffly in agreement.

"Some time passed then Jake showed up. I called out to him so he would know where I was. He knew about you guys already, so I told him it wasn't safe for him to be near me. He said it was fine and carried me outside. The pack showed up, and they decided to let me live. I was friends with all of them; they knew I wasn't going to be a human killer. They brought me to Sam's imprints house. Her name's Emily. She took care of me through my change, or so I'm told. I wasn't aware of much. They took me into the woods when my change was almost completed just to be safe."

"You spent your change being watched by the wolves?" They were shocked when I nodded.

"When I awoke I held my breath. I remembered Jake being near, and I didn't want to attack him. The pack was all there. They explained what they were, and I told them what'd happened. They offered me a place with them. I took it. I didn't want to be alone."

"I started running patrols with them. By the end of the first week I knew what every, bark, whine, and growl meant. I wasn't able to move between forms yet, so it was difficult at first. At the end of that week we came across a fresh trail. The vampire was confused as to why I was helping the wolves. She soon realized I hated vampires. I took her out on my own." I said proudly. Right now I didn't care if that was fucked up. That had been my first kill and it'd made me part of the tribe. "They were all proud of me."

"I'm proud of you too. You took down a mature vampire at one week old. That's really impressive." Jasper complimented. Carlisle was frowning. I didn't meet his gaze. I knew he didn't approve of killing.

"The next run I went on, not three hours later, was solo. Some of my brothers were going to look at your turf to see if we could add it to ours. Sam was going with them and letting me do a solo run of the Rez, so I didn't have to be anywhere near this place. They understood what it did to me." Jasper whimpered. I squeezed his hand in comfort.

"I ran into a coven of four. They had Claire with them. She was one of my brother's imprints. Claire was only three at the time, and she was already crying. They handed her over, and I had her run to the safe place. They attacked while my back was turned." Jasper growled angrily. "I beat them, but they managed to rip my arm off. I didn't have time to reattach it. When I was sure every piece was in the fire I grabbed my arm and ran to the safe place. It's a spot in the woods where all the scents get mixed and trails go cold. There's a spot someone could hide in, and no one could find that person unless they know where it is. It's really damn useful."

"Anyways, I brought Claire to Emily's and her imprint comforted her. Then I reattached my arm. Saving Claire gave me the trust and respect of the tribe. That night I went to the story telling. At the end Sam said he truly accepted me as his sister and the others should as well. That was the first time I shifted. My true wolf form is a white wolf." They made no comments.

"My brothers were exhausted. I took the night patrol alone, so they could sleep. It was better if I ran alone."

"Why?" Emmett inquired.

"Because I could run as a wolf; our minds are linked in that state. They didn't need to feel what I was feeling. I was still barely dealing, barely functioning. I needed time away from everyone to get a handle on my emotions." I explained quickly. Pain was shining from Jasper's eyes. **Bitch, now do you understand? You're a horrible person. You should be dead. **_I know. _

"Bella, don't feel like that. I'm affected by this because I care about you. None of this is your fault." He assured me. I shook my head. There was so much death I was responsible for, so much pain and suffering.

"Everything was clear until about seven. Right before my patrol was supposed to end I caught the scent of another fricking leech." I spat out bitterly. They were looking at me strangely

"Did you just call another vampire a leech?"

"Yes and that bastard can be called every name in the book. I hope he's rotting in hell." I hissed quietly. The worthlessness was starting to creep up on me. Jasper's eyes went black with rage as he started to understand. **He was right. You'll never amount to anything. You needed us. **_No! You're lying!_** Who could love a worthless whore like you? **_Stop lying!_

"I followed the trail to find three blood suckers. One of them had Emily, Sam's imprint, by the throat. They threatened to kill her if I called for help. They said if I stayed they'd let Emily go. I couldn't leave regardless, not with three leeches on Tribe land." I stopped unable to continue. I was starting to shake already. I needed to relax. **That's right whore. We know you like this as much as we do. Scream bitch. **_Shut up. Go away! _**We aren't going anywhere. **I shuddered.

Rosalie was looking at as if she was seeing me for the first time. "No," she whispered. I didn't reply to her. I knew she now understood what I was trying to say. I took a deep breath as I tried to stop the memories. I didn't want to remember this. I wanted to forget it, but that wasn't possible. _They need to know._

"I told her to run and to warn Sam for me. When I turned to face them again there were thirteen of them. How I hadn't realized there were ten others lurking in the shadows I'll never know." Jasper's eyes widened horrified.

"I'm sorry Jasper. I told you a modified version. I tried to fight them, but it wasn't possible. They were too strong. There were too many of them. That day I was gang raped by thirteen vampires."

I couldn't block the memories any longer. They were pinning me to the forest floor, hurting me. They wouldn't let go. **We'll never let you go. **_Shut up! You're dead! I killed you. _**It doesn't change what they did. That will never change. You'll always know what it's like to have them touch you. **My skin crawled as I remembered. I felt disgusting. _Leave me alone. _**Don't you get it? Jasper will treat you the same way. Who could love you? **_No one…but Jasper wouldn't hurt me._

They were still silent. No one had moved or made a sound. I couldn't take it. I had to look up to see their reactions. They all looked furious. I redirected my gaze at the ground once more as I waited of one of them to speak. "There were thirteen of them?" Jasper questioned in a pained voice. I could hear the anger lurking under the surface. I nodded. They all growled as the information sunk in. It was too loud, too much. I visibly recoiled away from them all into the couch. _They won't hurt me. They won't hurt me. I'm safe. _**How do you know that? **_They're family!_ **So was Alice.** Damn my mind to hell. Was it dead set on making it impossible for me to trust again?

Jasper stopped growling when he saw me flinch away from him. The pain came back into his eyes, and I felt like a bitch for putting that look in his eyes. I couldn't do anything right. "Darlin it's not your fault." He tried to assure me.

"I shouldn't have told you." I said shaking my head.

"You shouldn't have to deal with it on your own. I want to help you." I didn't deserve to be helped.

"That's why you stiffen when I hug you." Emmett said brokenly.

"I'm sorry Emmett. I never really worked to get over it. I threw myself into protecting the Tribe. I shoved it away."

"Which is definitely not a good idea," Rosalie added grimly. I shrugged.

"It didn't kill me."

"But you're suffering." Jasper argued.

"Jasper, that's only the beginning." I informed them grimly.

"What?"

"There's a lot more to tell. You've only heard two weeks." Esme looked horrified.

"Bella, I'm so sorry we left you alone."

"Carlisle, it's not your fault. I know who's responsible, and it's not you." I said darkly as I tried to calm down. _They won't hurt me. They won't hurt me. I'm safe. _**No you aren't. **_Shut the fuck up! I AM all right!_ There was no reply from my mind. Had I really just argued and won? … Cool.

"Bella, you don't have to tell us all of it right now. You can take a break." Jasper offered eyeing me carefully.

"It's ok. I need to tell someone all of it, but are you sure you want to hear it?"

"No, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to know that you've been suffering, but you need to tell it, so I'm going to listen. You're my mate Bella. I hate hearing this, but if I can help by listening I'm going to." He finished quietly. I reached for his hand and he took mine in his quickly as he realized what I wanted.

"Thank you, all of you." I said making sure to make eye contact with all of them. They waited in silence for me to continue.


	12. Chapter 12 Lessons in Pain and Loss

Chapter 12: Lessons in Pain and Loss

"A mountain lion, Nala, helped with my injuries. She told me about my ability to speak to animals, and she told me how I was the protector from their legends." I said bitterly. It was the worst curse in the world. "When she was done I followed Emily's scent trail out of the woods. It took me a while. I couldn't run. I was too sore." Jasper squeezed my hand in reassurance.

"When I stumbled out of the trees I had to explain to the guys and Emily. Somehow I managed to let Jake give me hug. My brothers ran with me on my next patrol once I was healed. We tried to piece together why there were so many vampires on tribe land. That was the day I had my first vision." I spat out. They all stared at me wide eyed.

"It's useful as hell, but it's the power I hate the most because it came from Alice." They all growled loudly except for Jasper. He didn't want to scare me.

"Victoria was talking to the thirteen vampires… She was praising them." Jasper hissed quietly as he tried to hold it in. I appreciated his efforts.

"My brothers and I were worried she was coming for us, but we hadn't caught her scent so we stopped worrying. We didn't have time to think about it when, not three days later, we found out I was pregnant."

"What?" They all gasped. Rosalie looked pissed.

"To this day I still don't know which ones their father or fathers were." I whispered. "I was terrified. I had no idea what to do. I wasn't sure I could handle raising them knowing how they were conceived." Rosalie and Esme looked tortured. I had to be careful how I said this next part. I didn't want to hurt Jasper.

"Jake helped me. He started to help me work through everything, and he admitted he loved me." I breathed out. Jasper stared at me shocked and pained. "During my pregnancy I started to develop feelings for him as well. When the children were born we were like a family. Thinking of Jake as their father made everything easier to ignore and forget. Erica and Kyle spent as much time in the woods as I could spare from patrol. I taught them how to hunt their first buck working together as mountain lions. They were so proud. I watched as they ran with the herd and grew. They grew so fast." My voice broke over the last sentence. Esme whimpered and Rosalie whined lowly as both of them mourned with me.

"Jake helped them learn to track vampire scent and to run their fastest. They weren't skills I wanted my children to have, but considering where we lived it was necessary. It did them no good the day Victoria came."

"We'd had no warning. I don't use my visions. They remind me to much of Alice and what she did. I was out in the forest talking with Nala when all of a sudden I heard their calls. Yowls so loud they pierced the sky. They quickly turned to howls as my children shifted. They were seeking the strength of the pack. I shifted into my wolf form and raced to the clearing to save them. No one was to hurt my family or my brothers."

"There were over sixty vampires in the clearing. Half of them were mature the rest were newborns. We were being overrun. Wolves were crying out for help. I heard my children yelping from the middle of the group. I saw red and lunged into the fight. I bit and tore at any in my way. I was nearly to my children when they were grabbed. The battle field stilled and I looked around to see almost everyone being restrained by vampires. They grabbed the rest of the pack, and left me to stand alone."

"They all looked horrible, especially my children and Jake. They were all bleeding, and Erica was trying to hold back whimpers of pain. A vampire smacked her for making a sound. I lunged for his throat and I was also restrained by four of the vampires who'd…" I trailed off shuddering. I heard wood chair arms creak and moan in protest of the amount of force being applied to them.

"Victoria approached me slowly smiling and cackling. She kicked a few of my brothers, and I felt it. Our bond was strong now. Strengthened through this new pain and weathered by time. We could hear and feel what the others did at all times." I explained quickly. "She stopped when she was a foot away from me. 'Hello Bella. How have the past few years been treating you?' I asked her what she wanted with us. 'Oh, I was going to kill you because your Edward killed my James, but I think I'll kill everyone you care about instead. Alice can't be too mad if she doesn't know, can she? We'll keep your survival our little secret"

The chair arms were broken and smashed as Emmett jumped up and began running through the house pissed off. He was making no attempt to calm himself down. "Emmett, relax," I said quietly.

"Why should any of us relax Bella? You just told us Alice tried to get you killed again, and we're supposed to relax." Jasper questioned.

"Yes you are, because if he can't sit the hell down I won't make it through telling the rest of this, so pick your goddamn poison." I practically growled back at Jasper. He was dumbfounded. I was trying really hard not to let the memories through right now, and I could only keep this up for a little while longer before I had to give up. **You can't run from us. We'll always be here, always. **_Stop it! Go the hell away! _

Emmett sat down slowly and returned his attention to me. "It turns out Alice had caught a glimpse of me and started telling everyone she could think of to come after me. Of course Victoria was the first thought in her head."

"Victoria went down the line and one by one she killed my brothers. The pain of their deaths coupled with the mental bond being torn from me was horrible, but it was nothing next to the screams of my children as they watch their extended family die. They were in wolf form once more as they tried to get away. The vampires wouldn't let them go. They were yelling to me and begging me for help that I couldn't give them. I tried to get to them and all it did was get me hit. I was useless."

"There were just four of us left: Jake, Erica, Kyle, and myself. Victoria ripped Jake away from my children's side. They yelled out for him, terrified. I wanted to comfort them, but I couldn't look away from Jake. He was in human form as were the children and I. We could keep up our vampire forms far easier. He looked me in the eyes I forced myself to make eyes contact. He looked around trying to find a way we could escape. Before I could speak Victoria moved towards him."

"'So this is your new love. You move on fast.' She'd taunted. 'Your family killed the one I loved so you can see how this is fair can't you?' She'd asked me. I told her not to touch them and she laughed. She didn't stop laughing until after he was dead. Then she brought my children to the middle." I could barely speak anymore.

"She toyed with them drawing close only to retreat. My growl did nothing to deter her. I couldn't get to them. I was stuck. I couldn't help, and I was forced to watch. 'Run Mommy! Get out of here! She's going to get you next run!' They knew what was going to happen to them. Victoria threw kerosene in a circle around them and lit it. They couldn't escape, and I couldn't reach them. They were screaming, dying! I had to stand there being restrained as they burned. They held hands and faced the flames together. When they were dead Victoria had me released and they left. I wasn't able to follow them. I wasn't able to move. I didn't want to. There was nothing left. Everyone was gone." I whimpered out. Jasper pulled me to him. I melted into his embrace, and he gave my shoulders a comforting squeeze. Rosalie's eyes were filled with anguish. Esme was dry sobbing in Carlisle's arms.

"The only thing that got me to move was remembering about the imprints and the families of pack members. I ran to Jake's house to tell his father, but he was dead. I went to everyone else's house as well, but anyone that'd been involved with the pack was dead: parents, siblings, imprints, and children, all dead." Carlisle growled furious over the loss of life.

"I shifted back to wolf form and called to the tribe. They came. They helped me find the dead and carry them to town, but I wouldn't let them touch the pack, my children, or Emily. They were mine to bury. The tribe hadn't known them like I had. I held funerals and helped bury the dead, when there funerals were done I buried my own dead in the graveyard I showed you.

When I was done I retreated from the public eye and mourned as a wolf. I tried to cope, but it was difficult. I was alone. The saying is true, the strength of the wolf is the pack and the strength of the pack is the wolf. I had no pack." I explained. I could feel Jasper's anger and sadness radiating off of him. I was hurting him! What was wrong with me?

"Nothing is wrong with you." Jasper stated firmly.

"Yes, there is. Wait until you hear. You'll think the same."

"I'm never going to judge you, and I'm never going to leave." He assured me sending me a bit of confidence. I shook my head unbelieving.

"Nala came found me after three months still mourning in my wolf form. I'd barely leave the graveyard. When I told her to leave me to mourn in peace she bit me. 'Get the hell up. It's time to fight back.' Nala was right. I wasn't going to let that bitch get away with killing my family. I was one wolf but there had to be a way I could get her. I wouldn't let her win."

"As a wolf I called to the creatures of the forest when they were near I told them of what had happened and of what I'd lost. The wolves and mountain lions were especially angry. The wolves had always been Erica's favorite, and the mountain lions had been Kyle's." I explained smiling softly.

"I sharpened their claws. I have no idea how but I did. Then we started tracking. The wolves and I led the way as we hunted. Animals of all kinds followed us. We were all joined in this effort. It took months to catch up to Victoria. My army needed regular rest and had to hunt. Victoria knew we were coming, and so she was trying to avoid us. It wasn't possible. I could have hunted her for eternity if that's what it took." I hissed out as my anger grew.

"When I found her she was back in the field where she'd killed my family, not five miles from here; she had her army all around her. She was hiding from me. Hiding behind those she'd sent to hurt me. I gave her the option to just hand herself over to me, but she didn't take it. She sent her army towards us. Most were newborns. Those were easy to beat, easy to kill. The mature ones were taken out by the pride and I. I had them leave my attackers and Victoria alive. We killed all those surrounding them. No one was spared. As for Victoria and the thirteen other blood suckers: let's just say they didn't die quickly, any of them." I stated smirking. Rosalie nodded. She was smirking as well. Jasper was radiating pride. He wasn't freaked out.

"I went back to the tribe and kept everyone safe. It had been Sam's dying wish, and I wasn't going to ignore it. The animals went back to their normal lives. Then, fifty years ago, the shifter gene picked up again when a few nomads strayed too close. After a year I had a pack of five. They were of weaker bloodlines because of me; that's why it'd taken so long for the pack to restart. They became like my children, and I led our pack. The morale in the tribe increased knowing there were more shifters patrolling. I was happy not to be alone anymore, but I still missed my family. I thought we were safe since Victoria's long dead, but she wasn't the only one I had to worry about."

"She was cunning and fast. Her army was trained much more than Victoria's had been. She was cold and cruel when she strategically came after me. She attacked the pack and the animals simultaneously while I was in town. I heard the animals and the pack call to me. I could hear their thoughts begging for me to help them, and I could also hear the screams of the animals. I wanted to help my pack. I'd failed the last pack, but I couldn't. The forest needed me. The pull was so strong. I had to help the animals and listen to my pack being slaughtered. I couldn't help them at all. That is the curse of the forest. It's why you should never rely on me. The damn forest forces me to help it first."

"It's not your fault." Jasper tried to assure me. I growled at him loudly and pulled out of his arms. I turned to glare at him.

"If I wasn't dumb enough to attach myself to the forest I would have been able to save the pack instead I failed the tribe and Sam, again. They took me in when I had no one. If it wasn't for them I would've been alone. Victoria would have killed me and everyone else would still be alive." Jasper whimpered.

"I don't want you dead."

"How can you say that or even dream of relying on me knowing the power the forest holds over me?"

"I think you can beat it, and of course I don't want you dead! I never will either." I shook my head in incredulity.

"When the animals were safe I had them come with me to try to save my pack, but it was too late. They were all dead and she stood there smiling, but when she saw my army standing behind me she ran off; her few remaining men followed her. I told her if she ever came back I'd kill her. She didn't look back."

"Nala tried to comfort me. She apologized again and again for what'd happened. She hadn't known what the legend had meant until then. I buried my pack and went back to running patrols. I had to keep the tribe safe."

"Nala died two years ago; I took in her two children. When you all came back I wasn't sure what to think of you. I didn't want to trust or get close to you, but it seems I did both of those regardless." I finished wryly. No one spoke as they took in all I had said. I held still as I waited for their verdict.

Jasper took my hand into his and immediately had my attention. "I'm so sorry Bella."

"You have nothing to be sorry for Jasper. You did nothing wrong."

"If I hadn't lost control we wouldn't have left."

"It wasn't your fault." He didn't meet my eyes. "Damn it Jasper. I was bleeding. I saw all of you leaning towards me, barely restraining yourselves. Alice even took a step towards me." None of them replied. Then I got the vision.

'_Bella has to die. She should have died at that god damn party! Why didn't it work. How had Victoria failed and that other bitch? How hard is it to kill one whore?' Alice muttered to herself in the mirror. 'Not that it matters. I'll think of something.' _

"Are you okay Bella? Darlin answer me." Jasper begged panicked. I blinked a few times and looked up at him, but I didn't speak yet. "Is she okay?" Emmett asked from behind Jasper.

"I'm fine." I rasped out.

"What just happened?"

"I used that stupid goddamn power I hate. I was just getting good at repressing it too. Damn it all to hell." I swore irritated.

"What did you see?" Carlisle questioned.

"Alice was plotting how to get me out of the way. Did you guys know she talks to herself in the mirror?" I inquired. They were taken aback.

"What?"

"Yeah, she talks to herself. She was pissed I wasn't dead yet, and she was plotting to get rid of me." I said quickly just wanting to get it over with.

They growled loudly and once more I recoiled into Jasper. His growl didn't really scare me, but the others fricking terrified me. He sent me a wave of calm, and I welcomed it. If I didn't calm down soon I would be running out the back door in no time at all. He rubbed soothing circles on my back in an effort to calm me and cut his own growl short. "Stop growling." He ordered his family. Surprisingly they listened. Maybe it wasn't his words alone. Maybe they noticed how rigid I'd gone and how close I was to Jasper in my effort to hide.

"I'm sorry Bella." Emmett apologized looking down.

"It's fine Emmett. I'll get over it." I said shrugging as I forced myself to relax.

"No you won't get over it. You'll heal. You'll learn to live with it." Rosalie corrected.

"I already do that." I reminded her.

"In a healthy way," she said rolling her eyes.

"Hey I think I'm dealing pretty well thank you very much." I teased. I focused on Carlisle as he cleared his throat.

"Bella, I'm sorry I never came back to check on you. I'm sorry we left without saying good bye or explaining, and I'm sorry we believed Alice for so long. I know my actions have led to pain and suffering for you and yours, but do you think you could ever forgive me?" Carlisle inquired hesitantly.

"Of course Carlisle. You had no idea what they were planning. It's not your fault. It's out of consideration to you and Esme that I held back as much as I did after they killed my adoptive children." I informed him. He looked taken aback.

"I wish you'd hurt them more." Emmett muttered.

"So do I," but I would have had problems holding myself together. I added mentally.

"Bella, we won't leave again. If we do I won't go until you come with me." Esme said finally looking at me. I smiled slightly.

"Thank you Esme." She smiled in return. How long would I have to stay here pretending to be happy? Would it be possible for me to escape soon? I wanted out of here. I needed to scream, shift, cry, run, anything. I couldn't stay here too much longer.

"Bella, how about we go to the meadow?" Jasper questioned as if on cue.

"Sure," I replied. I sent him my gratitude; he smiled slightly. Our hands linked we ran out of the house. Once we were out of hearing distance I relaxed slightly, but I also became even more dangerously close to coming undone. Jasper squeezed my hand in reassurance.

"We're almost there Bella, just a minute longer. Hang on." He urged me. I nodded mutely as I forced myself to focus on the present and to hold back the tears. I needed to go faster but Jasper couldn't. Damn vampire speed. Why was I so much faster than everyone else? Why couldn't this speed be enough? It was enough to make the trees blur to any human. It was enough to be over the highway speed limit of 80 mph, so why wasn't it fast enough to make me forget? Why wasn't it fast enough for me to leave the pain and suffering behind me? Maybe I couldn't run anymore. I didn't want to run, not really. I wanted to stay here with Jasper.

When we got to the meadow I was shaking, but I was still holding on. He didn't need to see me fall apart. The tremors grew worse. My body longed to shift so I could deal with the pain, but at the same time refused to. "Bella, you should shift if that would make it easier for you to handle." Jasper suggested in a strained voice.

"I would but it won't help Jasper. The strength I could once draw from there is gone. I can't handle being that alone right now." My voice cracked as I finished the sentence. Half a second later Jasper was on the other side of the clearing slamming his fist through a tree. It fell with a crash so loud I felt all the animals scatter. He came back over his chest heaving. He was pissed and sad and there was nothing I could do to fix it. I'd caused it. This was my fault. Why did I keep hurting him?

"It's not your fault Bella. Nothing was ever your fault. How can you blame yourself for what others do to you? If they hurt you how could you possibly be to blame?"

"I keep talking about it! I don't shut up about it. I keep telling you more. I'm making it hard on you! I can't even hold myself together. What the hell is wrong with me?" I questioned putting my own fist through a tree. Silent tears ran down my face as I stood with my back to him. He'd seen me cry enough. He didn't need to see this.

"Bella please, look at me." He pleaded. I turned slowly to face him. He looked as tortured as I felt. His eyes were shinning with tears that would never fall. Was it better to be able to cry? **Maybe if you couldn't cry you wouldn't seem so pathetic. **I didn't have it in me to argue with myself. It didn't seem worth it in the slightest. "You have done nothing wrong. You've been hurt time and again. You have a right to talk about it." He assured me. I didn't have the strength to stand any longer. I fell to the ground sobbing. This was just too much for one day.

Jasper walked over and ever so slowly pulled me into a hug. I clung to him desperately as the tears fell. Sobs broke free from my chest. They freed decades old pain. After what was most likely hours the tears finally stopped. Sniffling I stayed there in his arms listening to the sound of his breathing.

I pulled away to look at his face. He still looked pained and sad. I wished I could change that, but he'd made it clear I couldn't. "Bella, I will never let anything like that happen to you ever again." He guaranteed me.

I hugged him tighter. "Thank you," I whispered. He smiled into my hair.

"Anything for you Darlin." We sat like that for a while. We were content in each other's presence. Being together was more than enough. Words would have been superfluous.

I turned to face him. "You can ask me anything." I reminded him.

"What was the name of the other vampire who escaped?"

"I don't know. I never found out." I said bitterly. He squeezed my hand in reassurance. "We should get back. I'm sure the others have questions for me as well."

"We can take all the time you need. There's no rush in going back."

"It's ok. I can handle it now." We ran together through the trees. It was more for fun than anything. I loved feeling free like this. I raced ahead of him and leaped over the river. I landed in the grass laughing. I put my hand over my mouth shocked. _I just laughed. _**Thank you captain obvious.** _Shut up!_

Jasper was beaming at the progress. I rolled my eyes at him. I walked over to his side and took his hand in mine once more as we walked into the house.

"Hey Bella," Emmett said in a subdued tone. He was keeping his distance from me, as was Carlisle. Not even Rosalie was attempting to move any closer.

"Another reason telling people isn't something I like to do." I muttered under my breath. Rosalie's head jerked up. She flashed me a knowing grimace which I returned. "You guys don't need to tiptoe around me. I'm fine." No one moved, not even Emmett. I had to fix this. I stared at Emmett intently and fixed my goal in my mind. _You can do this. _**No you can't. **_SHUT THE FUCK UP! _I took a deep breath and let go of Jasper's hand as I moved across the room. Emmett was confused. I didn't stop to explain. I wrapped him in a hug for a few seconds before letting go. I took a tiny step back unable to stop myself. I still had instincts to worry about.

"Thanks Bella," Emmett was ecstatic. I rolled my eyes.

"Can we have an agreement you don't treat me differently? I inquired.

"Whatever you say little sister," Emmett replied still smiling. The others moved closer as well.

"Sorry Bella, we weren't sure how to treat you, honestly. From their experience with me they knew it's possible for someone who's been through what we have to be a complete bitch or afraid of everything for a while." Rosalie explained.

"It has been over one hundred years, so it's not like it just happened." I stated lightly.

"It doesn't mean you don't still think about it. It doesn't mean you don't remember exactly what happened. And it most certainly doesn't mean you don't feel worthless or afraid because of it." Pain crept into Rosalie's voice as she spoke.

"I know that, but they didn't need to." I muttered.

"Trust me when I say it's too late to hide your pain. Jasper will probably be all over Emmett in a matter of hours asking what he should do." I groaned.

"Ssshh," Jasper said with a small smile on his face.

"So you aren't denying it?"

"I won't lie. I was planning on talking to him."

"You're impossible. I am fine." I said enunciating each syllable slowly.

"That's a load of bullshit." Rosalie muttered.

"What would you rather I say?" I hissed irritated.

"I'd rather hear the truth." Jasper intoned.

"Like what?" I sighed defeated.

"Like, how do you feel right now being around all of us?" He inquired knowing perfectly well how I felt.

"I'm a bit on edge."

"Why," Rosalie pushed. She'd caught on to whatever point it was Jasper wanted to make.

"Because I wary."

"The reason being," Jasper trailed off.

"There are quite a few of you around."

"Why is that a problem?"

"I would be hard pressed to win if it came to a fight."

"Why?" Rosalie interjected.

"There are three males here."

"Why does it bother you?"

"You're vampires."

"Why is that a problem?"

"It means I can't trust you."

"Why?" Carlisle questioned as he also caught on. What were they trying to make me say?

"Male vampires are dangerous."

"Why?"

"They're stronger than me when they work together."

"How do you know?" Rosalie whispered.

"I lost."

"What happened?" Jasper inquired quietly.

"I was raped." My voice broke on the last word.

"Sorry Bella, but that doesn't lead me to believe you're fine." Jasper breathed out. Tears were threatening to fall. I took a deep breath to hold them back. I was done crying.

Esme wrapped me in a hug for a second before releasing me. I smiled at her thankfully.

"Thanks guys. I promise not to shut you out, but I have to go run a patrol. Do you mind if I include your land in my run since I have animals over here?"

"I don't mind." The second I was out of the house I shifted to wolf form. I stretched my tense muscles and I sped around the Rez. The speed was freeing and helped me to forget everything unpleasant. I loved this! I circled close to the town so the tribe would know I was still watching. I ran back across the border and arched wide so that all of the land on which I had animals was included. I wasn't leaving them hanging, not today. When I was done I stopped back in my land. I needed to eat something. I had to hunt. I was not going to think about what Jasper had made me face. I stalked out into the forest as an 'average' sized wolf. I spotted an elk. God, it good. I howled hoping there was a pack near, but I was alone. The Elk bolted upon hearing me. Oh hell no! I chased it down. I jumped up and ripped out its throat so it died quickly. I wasn't into hurting my prey more than necessary. I wasn't sadistic like that.


End file.
